Am I in the wrong here?

Honestly… he sounds like a gaslighter… he is playing around with that DARVO bs… you will be better off without him… don’t let that man be on the birth certificate and be done with him. He is an emotional abuser and you and the baby don’t deserve that shit

I think it’s very clear that neither one of you are ready to be in any relationship. Girl I get it but blocking the father of your child is just so childish and petty. We both know there are ways you can silence his notifications without blocking him. Him swearing at you is obviously not okay. My personal opinion is that my husband and I no matter what or how mad we’ve been at each other have never acted like this. And once you have a child you will need to remember that it isn’t about you anymore but you two are meant to be a team. It’s not you two against each other. It’s you two against the problems and until you both can really mature and realize you have to come at each other from a place of love and WANTING TO FIX THINGS, you should not be parenting together. Because right now you’re not trying to fix anything. Both of you are so quick to just give up and end it all over the smallest things and that’s just not even an option once you have a child. I hope this makes sense

It’s not fair on you that he’ll happily watch but then if you’re not officially together in a relationship then me personally wouldn’t take it to heart. My partner has so much shit like that in his feed as well TikTok insta Facebook threads so does my brother in law. I personally think it attacks men’s feeds for views as I have asked my patner to allow me to have a look at his likes and following all it is is football food and random stupid shit 🤦🏼‍♀️🤣. But he shouldn’t be disrespecting your boundaries not only as trying to work on stuff but also the mother of his child. If he can do all this disrespecting now he’ll carrying do it and then will do it to your child and you or the baby really don’t need or deserve that one bit. Maybe offer to him if he/you wants to talk or anything go through a friend or family member that way you don’t have to actually be face to face with the immature man child

@Melanie no it isn't childish... a absent father is better than a toxic on 💯 she's pregnant and doesn't need the stress so yes blocking him is the right thing to do

Can’t speak for the disrespect and swearing at you cos that’s not ok BUT he is right in regards to content being displayed to him even if he isn’t interacting with that content. It used to be that all platforms would show you things that you’ve shown interest in but what he is saying actually does happen. My partner will get sexual memes that are so questionable and I’ve thought the same thing but he will show me that it could be a completely innocent page he’s following. Probably doesn’t feel nice feeling interrogated either BUT clearly this needs to be explained to you so you can understand that the content he sees isn’t always because of what he’s looked at. Maybe it was unnecessary of him to share this video. It’s extreme to say he’s gaslighting you & not to put him on the BC like that’s his baby too like what the actual fuck lol

@Lyss this is such a stupid comment.

@Sera Kay ✨ yeah I have heard of it happening, I think that’s why I just dropped it because honestly it just wasn’t worth the fight.

@Ange the biggest issue here wasn’t the video, he knows I don’t like swearing and I don’t think it’s ever okay to swear at a pregnant women let alone it being the mother of his kid. He keeps doing it though and I’m so tired of respecting him and his boundaries but allowing him to repeatedly cross mine despite countless conversations and gentle reminders. I know it was childish of me to block him and it doesn’t make me much better than him but I need him to know that I have respect for myself too and I’ll follow through with blocking if he can’t follow something as simple as not swearing at me.

How is my comment stupid? That’s completely unnecessary. He knew what he was doing. She set clear boundaries and he disrespected it. He’s just pushing her buttons to see how far she will go cuz he is an emotional abuser using DARVO tactics. Just cuz you may not understand that dynamic doesn’t mean it’s stupid.

Oh no I know I did say near the bottom of my comment that it’s wrong to disrespect your boundaries. I totally get it!!!!! It’s very wrong of him to keep doing it especially if you guys have spoke. About the issue it’s self. I wouldn’t say it’s child ish as you can block him and have a middle man some one to communicate between you both. If anything doing what it’s best or what you think is best for you and your bubba is the most important so blocking him to help your mental state no it don’t make you childish at all. And respecting yourself do what needs to be done beauts!!!!!!! I’m not trying to get at you at all xxx

@Lyss it absolutely is. Telling her not to put him on the BC because of this issue. What on earth has that got to do with his ability to be a parent? You don’t know him or her personally. You don’t know their relationship or their dynamic. They could be great a majority of the time and like any relationship they stumble and fall into bad habits/bad ways of coping. This has nothing to do with either one of their abilities to be good parents to the child(ren). It’s terrible advice to tell someone not to put them on the BC and get rid of them. How selfish to the child who isn’t even born yet. This has absolutely nothing to do with what you’re saying about him being emotionally abusive and everything to do with your extreme response of jumping to not including him on his own child’s birth certificate. It’s wild.

@Sera Kay ✨ When I see someone using DARVO tactics on someone i absolutely tell them to run as far and as fast as you can. You do not want to be stuck co-parenting with a narcissist. Period. It’s not selfish. It is protecting your kid from someone who will do the same emotional damage they do to the parent to the child. To narcissists children are just pawns in the game. They are incapable of love. You may not know what it is like to be tied to an abuser but I can assure you… you do not want an abuser to have any way to have control over you. Period.

@Lyss you’re jumping to these accusations of what he is and isn’t without knowing either of them and that is WILD to me. And then assuming I have no idea what it’s like to be with an abuser, I most certainly do.

@Sera Kay ✨ I see the DARVO in the text messages…you can say what you want but it’s there in the texts.

@Lyss 🙄

I’m in a similar situation where I have my Babyfather blocked because of the disrespect and swearing he does towards me and him also becoming a drug addict unfortunately I honestly think if you’re gonna keep him block, keep him blocked because it does seem a bit childish that you block him then unblocked him and now he’s eventually blocked you and you guys have got a kid together. If you’re willing to do this alone then do it alone but I don’t think it’s worth arguing over a Instagram post if you actually want to co parent with him. If you generally want to cope with him, the conversations should just be about baby and baby alone For example, any scans any updates obviously you can even text him how you feel about pregnancy and emotions but talking about an Instagram post is irrelevant especially if you are not together. And him mentioning that if you block him again that you will never be together and that is emotional abuse

Understandable. He should still be respecting you by 1) doing everything he can to NOT see this content and 2) by not sharing it. A few years ago my partner was apart of a group on FB and they had a lot of sex memes and I mentioned to him it made me feel uncomfortable and he removed himself and made sure he wasn’t apart of any other groups doing this. But I know now, that even just basic meme groups can show this stuff here and there. He should’ve apologised to you and corrected this behaviour. Your feelings about things come first as a priority above all else. I hope you are both able to sort through your issues and resolve things. If not, all the best with your new bub and I hope all goes smoothly 🫶🏽🤍

*co parent with him

I think the continual blocking is petty and I can get how that would get annoying. Imagine the other way. I think there are other ways to voice and show it’s not okay for him to talk to you that way. Number one would be to stop trying to work on things with him. If he is that disrespectful, then stop talking to him on a personal level. You both are doing things to each other to make the other react exactly how you expect. Some people are just toxic for each other.

Oh my gosh. Anybody that tells you to fuck off doesn’t respect you at all. I’d be saying bye to that guy. He’s not a catch girl.

@Natalie blocking and unblocking is childish. Don’t just block someone to be spiteful. Block someone because you legitimately do not want to talk to them again.

the cursing is not cool esp after you stated your boundary but personally to me blocking doesn’t really solve any problems. its like a fast fix or a temporary wall that you can put up but in this case you have to keep taking it down bc he’s the father of your child. you two have to learn to communicate for the sake of your sanity and your childs wellbeing. maybe try couples counseling?

@Lyss here you are again😂😂hating on men for nothing. Your advising she don’t put her baby’s dad on the birth certificate because of a MEME. You are the most selfish person I’ve ever come across. This has no reflection on his ability of being a father. And leaving your stupid quotes all over peoples pages is ridiculous you truly need to have a day off and get a grip. You need real psychological help

Like how I get notifications of my husband liking stuff and commenting on stuff on FB. And I go and see what it is and it's whores he liking. And when I go to ask "I'm never on FB I don't look at that stuff I was hacked" ......... I see him on FB all the time, I see him on other "social" apps all the time.... I guess men think we're stupid?

Like, if he's telling the truth cool. But if he's lying. Not cool. And if he's looking at that stuff, lying. Why would he lie? Idk what the video is of specifically. But to lie over something on social media is dumb if it's harmless.

I see the darvo and wanna send it to my husband SO BADLY cuz this is what he does.

You’re not even together? Why does it bother you what he watches? It’s so unnecessary to have this argument in the first place! I agree he shouldn’t get disrespectful with the swearing and I’m sorry you gotta deal with that but girl, focus on you and the little one you’re growing inside of you. Don’t watch what he does, you guys aren’t together so it’s not really your business what he does. You know what is best for you hun, do you!! 🥰

There's 3 sides to every story, yours, his & the truth. Looks like this could happen more often than you're willing to admit and he sounds tired of having to defend himself, walking on eggshells to not upset you or get blocked vibes but he's had enough. You seem upset about the type of content on his feed and he is correct, it's not necessarily his fault. As someone who rarely uses Instagram I've just checked mine and there's multiple videos of half dressed women among 'normal' videos. You're allowed to want to be with someone who doesn't watch that type of content but no relationship is going to work for you if you can't trust them. The back and forth is toxic & messy and blocking him is doing absolutely nothing if you're going to continue to unblock him, block him, unblock him. Hopefully, he sticks to his word and keeps you blocked so you can both heal and grow separately and hopefully, he still steps up and is a great dad to your little one.

@Ames I don’t take women who don’t believe in the patriarchy seriously. Cuz you clearly lack critical thinking skills. But sure I’m the one with issues. You are young give it time child.

@Lyss you’re on every single post with the same robot comment “he’s a narcissist, he’s abusive, leave him, don’t put him on the BC”. You are a man hater at every opportunity. I agree men suck, that ain’t a question! And I do see abusive situations. But it’s like you have a lens you see out of and that’s it. There ARE actually other issues in relationships and it’s not always abuse. Like why are you here making accusations about people you don’t even know? Fair enough if you ask them questions & maybe help them realise what kind of man they’re dealing with & you can then educate them but you’re just straight up slandering people’s partners because you’re a straight up man hater. It’s nasty energy. Please stop acting like you’re more intelligent than those who don’t believe every man is a narcissistic abusive POS.

@Lyss and I don’t take conversations with people who use words like “cuz” instead of “because” seriously as you clearly lack grammar skills. That was a very poor attempt of patronising me, good try though❤️

@Sera Kay ✨ I’m not on every post actually. Just the ones with men clearly showing examples of DARVO. I am fully aware there are good relationships out there. And I act accordingly to each post. Some men are good and some aren’t. Just like all humans. You guys clearly are projecting cuz you are acting as if im on all these posts. I’m not. You just see what you want to see. But that’s not my problem. Have the day you deserve.

@Lyss ok love lol

@Amesis slang. It’s my personal way of communicating. The fuck. And that is classist of you. Cuz really who the fuck cares if I say cuz over because. Like seriously. How fucking petty. Go clean your house like your man likes.

@Lyss did I hit a nerve?😂

@Ames no you didn’t. CUZ you are too ridiculous for me to take seriously.

@Lyss take your poor grammar and masculine language somewhere else. You’ve said enough 🫶🏻

Can the back and forth in the comment section please stop? It can get overwhelming for the person who needs help to read through. 🙏🏾