Question

I think it’s completely normal to feel annoyed. It’s really hard when your partner goes back to work or have other commitments. When the return they want to chill as have had a busy day but don’t realise how hard it is solo parenting. I still haven’t found the right way to communicate this without starting an argument. Hope you find the best way to get this across to your partner xxx

Thank you for your comment. I’ve basically outright said it annoys me and I don’t think he considers me/the stress at home when he’s not here. He thinks I feel this way out of my own guilt because I don’t go out and leave him with the kids because I’d feel guilty doing that to him. Xxx

So basically he thinks that I think because I would feel guilty then so should he. Xx

You don’t sound selfish at all honestly he should be more considerate especially knowing you have a really little baby I understand everyone needs some time to themselves and friends etc so make sure your husbands giving you that too

I would be annoyed. I would expect my partner to do a little extra in the morning, prep food for tea etc to make it easier in the evening doing it alone

Well that’s the thing - he said to me just do tea in the day so it would be ready for the evening. I still had the 3 month old here all day though just not the 7 year old. I just think it’s inconsiderate when he knows how unpredictable evenings are at the moment

I'd be annoyed cuz why is he prioritizing the game over your well-being and taking care of his kids? If he's gonna do this, he should have a day where he's taking care of the kids all day and you have a day to yourself and a girl's night out

He said that would be no problem and that he wouldn’t “make me feel bad for doing it”

Cool, then schedule your day and enjoy!!

If being alone for bedtime is not a problem for him, good for him but he should care about your feelings, it's irrelevant if he would feel the same or not. A supportive partner would hear you out and be there for you. I have a toddler and a 3 month old. Definitely noymt ready to do night by myself unless I really have to.

I do get where your coming from and what he is saying isn’t acceptable about just do it in the day but also he does need time for himself as do you. We forget that yeah we’re looking after a baby which is so completely hard but they are also doing a full day in work which is also knackering

He only thinks being alone for the evening won't be a problem for him because he hasn't done it. It is well documented that men just flat out don't take what women say seriously so when you tell him how stressful it is he's not registering that in any meaningful way. I say let him do the evening on his own, let him experience for himself exactly how tough it is. It's the only way they learn to get their head out of their ass! And yes, I totally understand you feeling that guilt taking time away for yourself right now I'm guilty of it myself and should probably take my own advice 🫢 but try to remind yourself that you are a whole person outside of 'mum' and that person needs some TLC now more than ever

@Amber I agree. However, he’s said he would have no issue with me doing whatever and leaving him to it. But I wouldn’t WANT to , that’s the difference. Xxx

I understand it’s frustrating being with baby all day and having help from hubby is such a relief when he’s home. However, it’s important for mum and dad to have their own time and space. We have to allow our partners to have a their own hobbies or time away for their own well being. You should make time for yourself too and get a night off. Keep a healthy balance

I get you, it's the fact he doesn't want to put time with his family above going out with his mates and isn't putting how you feel first. It's the "I want you to want to" thing that goes in one ear and out the other, you've every right to be upset