PPA

So I didn’t realize that I had PPA with my first child until I had my second. They are 20 months apart. And things are just so much easier and I’m like calm now. I really had no idea. But now I look back at the first year with my oldest and I’m just so sad for us both. I made everything soooo much harder. I was kind of mean to her. Like I would get wayyyy beyond frustrated when she didn’t take a nap in her crib at like 3 months old. Like unreasonably angry. postpartum rage is also a term I just learned. Had no idea. I feel awful. And I’m sad that my experience in become a brand new mom is tainted with just ridiculous worries and stress about honestly nothing. Biggest thing was naps. I made it way harder than it needed to be. I think I was fighting the transition of becoming a mom. I fought it hard. So everything about taking care of her just annoyed me when it was inconvenient. Which made it way harder. Now with my second I’m happy being a mom already. So I don’t mind any inconvenience. And everything is easy. I’d like to apologize to my oldest. And I hope she turns out ok despite me not being the best.

Show your support

Aww try not to beat yourself up. It’s a learning experience for both of you! I made so many mistakes and lost my temper very often as well as a first time mom. My kids are 18 months apart and I agree the second time seems much easier and more laid back. If your oldest is happy and healthy now I wouldn’t stress it she likely doesn’t or won’t remember any of that in the early days, and also kids are so so forgiving. All you can do is give your best. Some days that’s more and some days that’s less and that’s okay!

Totally totally normal. I was the same way I finally reached out for help with my PPA/PPR at 10m pp when I realized I had been yelling at my babies for months and couldn't calm myself down and every single day I wish I would've reached out sooner and I have such terrible mom guilt but honestly I just look at them and how much love and admiration they have for me in their eyes and take a deep breath and remind myself that every single day is a new chance to start over as a better mom 🫶🏻 it's okay mama just keep being the best mom you can be now and those early months won't affect her at all 🫶🏻

OMFGGGG!! If I could have written this myself like girl! Soooo me right now but I don’t have a second. My little is just getting older and about to start school this year so I just wanna be 100% happy and “correct” when handling them moving forward 🥹😮‍💨 I really felt this one mama 🥴🥹✨

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌