Why don't men get it?

Why don't men get that we lose ourselves to being a sahm. That having to meet our children's needs from birth is not something that easily goes away. Then add more more children to the equation, adds more needs to be met. At least until the age of 3 do they start showing some independence, but it's still small. They still need our help most of the time. Why don't they understand, the constant daily life of being a sahm more, drains us mentally, emotionally, and physically. That constantly needing to keep our emotions regulated is taxing. That we are mentally and emotionally tired but sometimes unable to set aside time to recoup, because our children need us. Why don't they understand that it's not easy to talk to them, because we don't want to be told it's an "easy fix", we just want to be heard. Why is it that only women seem to understand this. Why can't they try to understand we feel like a burden because we aren't contributing financially, and we can see the stress on them. I don't know how to help my husband understand this. I can try to talk to him, but I shut down, and that causes more issues. I just wish men would understand that the support they are giving isn't actually supportive. I wish he would stop telling me it is easy to change, as that is the most BS response ever

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Sooo draining man having to depends on others to get 15-30 mins of free time like i feel you!

I feel you, it’s very hard!

Not all men are like this. I'm very fortunate to have an amazing partner. A lot of men however do use weaponised incompetence. Your other half can do better but he's choosing not to. You do need to get out of the headspace of feeling like a financial burden though because you aren't. You both chose to have children. I assume you do all the childcare, cooking and cleaning? Do you know how expensive all those would be to hire? I'm sure you're doing a great job too. If your other half is so sure on it being an easy fix maybe they can start helping with bedtime routines at night? Or getting up early with them on a Saturday or a Sunday and letting you have some time to yourself

@Noelle i don't even shower by myself as I have an easier time showering with my girls. Less physical because I can sit with them in the shower instead of having to be hunched.

Not all met are this way. I cry like a baby to my man sometimes 😂 he rants at me occasionally. I know I'm lucky because I can be vulnerable to my man and he's always there for me even when it's cutting into his time. I think being an adult is hard.. noone told us this is how it is when we were young. I know my mum didn't 😅 I get my free time washing my face for a minute 😂

Agreed. Not all men are like this and/or they could change, be better if they chose to. When we had our first born, it was a complete chaos. I had postpartum depression which I wasn’t aware of. We both argued a lot. My husband would say I have it easy, ect,. Later on, he was able to stay home and be in my position for once. I just had our second baby in December and this time around, he’s more understanding and aware of things. I’m able to go and talk to him about anything and everything without shutting down (we both used to do that and give silent treatment) and just communicate. We’re both vulnerable to each other. But this time around, I’m not just stuck at home. I’m able to go out and do errands as before, I didn’t know how to drive. I take our first born to school then my husband to work and I’m home with our 2 month old.

I get it ❤️ my husband would never tell me I have it easy but I still don’t think he truly gets it. I don’t think any parent can really get it unless they live it for a while. It’s so mentally draining. And my husband works so hard that I honestly feel bad complaining to him even though he always listens to me and never plays the one upping game of who’s more tired. There’s just things that are so obvious to me about the little inequalities and I know it’s stuff he forgets about because hes obviously living on the easier end😂 like being able to come and go as he pleases without having to arrange childcare or make plans, being able to sit in the bathroom on his phone, being able to just sit still in general cuz the kids are so used to coming to me for help or asking for stuff even if they have to pass by him first.. it’s just exhausting cuz even if my job is easier, the fact that I never get to truly check out completely feels so unfair 😭

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