Guilt over a necklace

No you’re not wrong. Order the necklace

No as a step parent I whole heartedly understand. I try to include my step daughter in everything we do as I never want her to feel left out. But there are times when I just want to do things with me and my kids because it’s a different feeling. When I’m with my step daughter we have our own bond and it’s amazing. My husband bought me a necklace with our kids names on it and he shared he wanted to add her but wanted a necklace just for me because my kids made me a mom

I don’t want them to feel like I’m excluding them or playing favorites. I don’t think my SS would care at all but I think my SD might. She would likely ask me why. I don’t want her to feel like I don’t acknowledge and honor their places in my life. I just want one special thing for myself. I wonder if I should order like a separate piece that includes them in some way that I can wear from time to time. I appreciate the thoughts! It’s hard to ask people about this stuff who aren’t step parents too. It’s like a weird place to live sometimes that only other step parents might get. I’ve also never had step parents myself so I don’t know how two kids who have two active parents already might feel or whatever.

Honestly I think having a discussion with your husband but also with the kids. Let them know there will be times that you maybe do something with you kids but that doesn’t take away you love and care about them and enjoy hanging out. I think having boundaries and being open helps. Don’t over exert yourself in trying to please or make everyone feel good because honestly they won’t feel equal to each other no matter how hard you try.

Maybe get a matching bracelet with the step kids name on it.

This may be due to the relationship I have with my bonus mom, but I'd feel unloved by her if she got anything with just her children's names and ignoring my brother and I. I don't think you're necessarily wrong for wanting just your biological children's names on the necklace but the way I was raised with a loving, caring stepmom was that step kids become your kids as well - even with both of their biological parents in the picture. My parents treated all four of us equally as their children, never favoring their biological child over their stepchild. I will note that my biological mother has always been in the picture but we've had a tumultuous relationship due to her mental illnesses and alcoholism which may factor into how I feel about my stepmom being so much a mom to me and how hurt I would be to be excluded as a child to her. Just wanted to give the perspective as a stepkid in this situation. I don't know how your step daughter feels but I'd say it's worth a discussion with her and your husband.

😭

Talk to your partner about it 100%. My fiance is stepdad to my 2 older kids, and I wouldn't feel offended in the slightest if he did something like this for our daughter

Can you get a necklace with removable initial so sometimes it can have all of them on and sometimes just your own kids?

No, order it. I think it shows how much you love and care for them to buy something for yourself that includes them too. I bought myself stackable rings with my kids names in them.