I’m so overwhelmed with this situation, I don’t know what to do about it anymore.

I'm feeling really upset and resentful toward my husband, and I'm not sure if my feelings are valid. He keeps telling me that I'm overreacting and exaggerating, but I can't shake how I feel. One time, his sibling came over with their son, and our kids were playing together. They ended up in one of the rooms, and I thought everything was fine. When I went to check on them, the door was closed. I don't like closed doors, so l knocked. When they opened it, my daughter immediately told me that her cousin had pulled his pants down and showed her his private parts. I was incredibly upset. I was a victim of SA as a child, so this just hits deep and makes me be very protective of my children. What really bothered me is that his sister didn't say anything to her son about what happened. My husband stepped in and said something about it. Her response was “I told you to not do that anymore “ to her kid. And both my husband and I were upset given that this wasn't the first concerning incident, I decided that I didn’t want my kids around them anymore. Now my husband is upset at me for that very reason and because I’m upset at him for him being very empathetic towards her due to her having a minor medical issue nothing serious, or nothing death or life situation. I thought he and I were on the same page about how serious this situation was, but now I feel like he’s acting as though it’s not big deal. I’m not upset he is talking to her; im upset because now it feels like she will think the issue wasn’t important and that she got away with it. What frustrates me even more is that she hasn’t apologized or done anything to address the situation. At one point she dismissed it by saying to me “I was sick for even thinking like this” when I went to confront and tell her that; mom to mom hopefully she understand that a mom will always protect her kids from anything. To me that’s just wrong. I’m hurt that no one is holding her son accountable. On the contrary I’m being looked and being judge as a bad person and now they don’t want their kids close to me. Like what? I feel like I’m the only one who see how serious this is. This is why I don’t know what to think anymore. Am I overreacting? I just don’t know how to move forward from this situation. Like sometimes I feel like I’m the crazy one and Im not seeing something. What am i not seeing? What am I doing wrong? Please someone tell me.

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Yeah I'd be upset. What are the ages, your daughter and the cousin?

The cousin is 6 and my daughter 7

You're not overreacting at all, you've got to protect your daughter first & always.

I agree. Something may be happening to the boy which is very sad and I hope they are figuring that out. Protect your daughter. It's so great she told you right away. Your husband is siding with his blood family which is also sad.

Not overreacting at all. Doesn’t matter age. That is not okay and until the mom takes more control of it, they shouldn’t do anything together

Your sil can't change what happened, but she is underreacting. At the very least she should be instructing him those are his private parts, we don't show them to other people (including our cousins), and uncle's house is not an appropriate place to take it out (unless he is in the bathroom, alone or with his mom or dad). I think it's ok to let them play together, but with closer supervision (by you, your husband and sil aren't taking this seriously), and let both kids know closed doors are not allowed.

Your SIL definitely isn’t taking it seriously enough. She needs to really work with him on appropriate boundaries and whatnot. I know kids are curious and sometimes “play doctor,” but the fact that he did it behind closed doors shows he knew he wasn’t supposed to do that. If it was my son, I would want to really talk to him to understand where he was learning that behavior to make sure he wasn’t being molested or groomed. If you do see them again, insist that the kids play right in front of you in the main area of the house. No closed doors, and no going off by themselves into other rooms of the house or the backyard. Better to safe than sorry. Most kids who molest other kids have been molested by an adult. It’s terrible and heartbreaking.

Definitely not overreacting, it’s saddening that neither of them see the BIG issue with that whole situation. If for whatever reason that would happen to my kids I’d definitely not want them to be around the “culprit” stick to your guns momma! We are the only advocate for our kids!

The kid is definitely experiencing inappropriate behavior from someone in the family. Hopefully it’s not his own parents but I wouldn’t put it past them! Especially w the way they went abt everything. Don’t let ur daughter go 2 their house. It could be anyone. No normal child does things like that. Ur job is 2 protect ur daughter,not spare anybody’s feelings. Keeping those kids away from your daughter is the best decision u can make bc he could’ve m0lested ur daughter. That’s the next step. Ur next job is 2 invite them over & u need 2 lead the conversation & figure out who is making the kid think that the behavior is okay & who taught him 2 do that. That way you know which adult(s) 2 call out,keep them away from ur family & call the cops on them. Somebody has 2 hold everyone involved accountable & put an end 2 this whole situation & if it’s not gonna be your husband, or the kid’s parents,then it has 2 be U.

Set boundaries w the parents & teach ur daughter boundaries as well! Mine is 5 & she knows the names of private parts & knows that nobody’s s’posed 2 see or touch them. & she also knows she can’t touch anybody else’s privates. She knows 2 not trust other grown ups & be weary of strangers. She knows how 2 ask 4 privacy. U need 2 set boundaries for ur home infront of the kids & parents & specifically state that that type of behavior is unacceptable & will not be allowed in ur home or around your child explain 2 the kids why it’s wrong & say if they can’t respect that,they’re no longer welcomed in ur home or around ur child. If they get mad,f them. Ur kid comes 1st! Simple! Any reasonable parent would understand so if they get upset,their intentions aren’t good. They need 2 check their kid,if not u have every right 2 do so!

The fact that the parents & ur husband reacted in a careless way leads me 2 believe that they know who is behind this & don’t want the person exposed bc they’re close 2 them, or that it’s one of them doing these things 2 the kid & making them think it’s okay. Just saying. That’s definitely something 2 look into. Watch ur hubby & keep a close eye on ur kid. The fact he is a man & isn’t more pissed abt the situation, is just bizarre! Any GIRL DAD would be infuriated by this! & he shouldn’t care if it’s his sister & her son! F her feelings!We don’t play that over here! If that were my hubby & me, we would’ve got 2 the bottom of it & put everyone in their place!

Thank you, ladies. Honestly, I thought I was going crazy and started to doubt myself. I didn’t know what to think and maybe I thought maybe my husband is right. Boundaries and limits are unfortunately a common issue between my husband and me when it comes to his family, and they tend to sweep things under the rug. Unfortunately, this situation ended up falling into that pattern. A genuine thank you for not making me feel like I was exaggerating.

Good luck OP, take care of yourself and your precious daughter above all else.

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