Getting tired of husbands frustrated way of parenting

I get that parenting is hard, but I feel like he just refuses to adjust the way that he speaks to our little girl and he won’t equip himself with new tools to help him guide her better. He yells at her and raises his voice often, and it’s almost like he thinks it’s an effective way to parent and refuses to try any other tool to help him. Every time I leave him to look after her (eg he does bath time or feeding her) it inevitably ends with him overly controlling the situation, then he repeats himself about 6 times, each time getting louder and louder and more angry, and then he yells, and she starts crying. Like firstly stop trying to control every single aspect and give her a smidge of freedom, secondly stop repeating yourself (guide her to do what you are asking if you have to), thirdly yelling does nothing but trigger fear. I hate that. I hate that he wants to rule through fear. It always ends up with her in tears. But I’m supposed to just let him figure out his own way to parent? It just feels like he’s doing it wrong, and I’m supposed to just sit and let him make her cry unnecessarily. I’m no angel, I also have moments where I yell, but you can damn well be sure I’ve tried 5 other things before we get to that point, and I recognize that the yelling is my own frustration and is not a useful tool. I’ve had several conversations and tried to give him many other ways to approach situations but it goes in one ear and out the other. Then I get told I’m lecturing him. Ugh, I’m so tired of it all. I wish we were on the same page. I wish he gave a shit about improving his parenting technique. He doesn’t seem to want to. What do I do 🤷‍♀️

Show your support

Watch bluey in front of him nonstop? Show how you can get there in different ways? I'm sorry love. It's hard.

He needs therapy and to care to break generational parenting. His parents raised him like that. 0-8 is when we learn our place in the world and things like people pleasing to not get yelled at. What you can do is lead by example and be prepared to stand up for your daughter so she doesn't need therapy. I'm sorry this is happening now. Good luck mama

Would he read a book of you gave him one?

@Sarah nope

@Sarah He barely watches the instagram reels I send him with brief tools to use, he told me that he “doesn’t always agree with them anyway”

Yelling at a child until she cries is emotional abuse. Parenting through fear is emotional abuse. If he isn’t listening or opening up to learning how long are you going to allow your daughter to be abused? Honestly for me it gets to a point that you have to choose between your partner or your kid. For me I had to frame it as what kind of role model do I want to be for my kids. Did I want my kids to think it’s ok to stay in a relationship where my children don’t feel safe to be themselves? Or did I want to show my kids that I was willing to protect them from the person who hurts them. Cuz emotional abuse again is abuse. So if he isn’t taking you seriously I would set a firm boundary and hold it and if he continues reconsidering if it’s worth your daughter needing therapy to fix what her dad breaks in her later in life as an adult.

I know this may be hard but do you wanna try modeling. Try for a month do not tell him what to do just do you and let him see how you are.. also try hugging him. Break the cycle of tough love. Caress him as well and then he will see the difference. Sometimes men get angry because they are frustrated but too prideful to ask for help. But when you show kindness and gentleness it can go the other way. Pray for him and your family. Try your best to not yell too. Instead be patient with yourself. It’s hard to parent. You will do great. You got this

This is verbal & emotional abuse. I'd call him on his bullshit & if he refuses to make changes then you make steps to get your daughter away from him. Start documenting all of it. Find out your state laws with consent & recording. Contact your local police station & ask what is needed to file a report (my best friend was able to file reports on her baby daddy because of him yelling & cursing at HER with the children present).

He needs to change or have a wake-up call. Not wait till she ends up with mental health issues when she's older from emotional abuse in childhood.

If he "doesn't agree" with the video's you send him that sounds like a great conversation starter.

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