Fed up with my mother and family

Since having a baby, my family came to see her once to get all their photos. Then we’ve barely been in touch. My mum only ever sends me voice messages with “Is the baby awake? Is she awake? I wanna see baby. Is she awake?” Yes, she repeats herself a lot. When I do get baby on video chat with my parents, they barely talk to me or answer my questions about them, spending the entire time cooing at my baby. “Baby! Baby! Baby!” for half an hour. It’s starting to really piss me off. Baby looks at me a lot naturally, instead of at them so they comment “Baby keeps looking at her mum.” It’s as if I’m not even in the room. I found out that my family don’t really care about me but after having a baby, it really confirmed it for me. Has anyone gone through the same thing? What did you do?

Show your support

I’d express your concerns to them? They might not realise what they are doing and how it makes you feel. Communication is always the best thing to do xx

Maybe have a word and express how you feel, or simply divert the conversation. Or give them what they want before they ask! My MIL was forever asking for videos of the baby awake / moving around (no idea why so specific) so I set up one of those shared family albums and constantly put stuff on there so when she asks I can just point her there. Her fault if she’s not looking then. Also when we talk I let them have their time but also make sure we talk about other things. It is really hard at times so appreciate your frustrations! X

Communication is not a great thing within our family. It’s more like a “we’re right, you’re wrong and that’s that” kind of thing. Followed by the silent treatment. It feels like a losing battle and I’m running out of patience and understanding when they have so lacked anything good for me.

Maybe an alternative prospective. My sister had a similar issue with me, she felt I only ever called her because of my nephew. I was really excited to be an aunt and I just loved my nephew so much. I was so glad she discussed it with me and I was able to reassure her that I love him because I love her. The baby means everything because of the connection they have through you, I promise you, that’s not lost on them, but they’re probably just caught up in the excitement and are forgetting to include you. Talk to them.

Maybe. But my mother sees my messages and ignores them. Replying with the same voice message of “Is baby awake? Is she awake? Let me see her.” I had an emergency c section and no one in my family asked how I was. My brother was almost in a car crash, the car behind him was hit, and everyone made sure that he was okay. I asked if he was okay too, it’s a scary thing for anyone but I had absolutely nothing from them when I went through something traumatic. Zero.

That’s so sad, I’m so sorry you have to live through this. It’s not a nice feeling when your family who are supposed to love and care for you the most, don’t. I hope you manage to figure out what to do in the best possible way for yourself and your baby xx

One of the album apps would be great and post the baby regularly then they won’t need to ask constantly to see the baby xx

I’m so sorry to hear that. You definitely deserve better. How are doing now? How’s your recovery?

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