Relationship with a nonbeliever…

Just thought I’d add I am 24, been with my partner since I was 18 so never really known anything else as an adult

Id say work on your relationship with god. Your bf may see the light through watching your faith and relationship with God grow

@Hannah I have thought of this but then am I living on hope for change when it may never happen? I have faith that it could happen but am I then eventually going to be angry if it doesn’t?

I am in a similar situation as you are except we only have one 9 month old baby. I have been having the same feelings as you and recently my pastor called me and spoke about being unequally yoked and said I am selling myself cheap( in a graceful way btw guys, I see him as a dad that’s why he is very blunt). On the other hand he also said, it’s possible that my bf could get to know Christ through me. However, he did say if you spoke about christ to the person several time and the person is not showing any signs of believing or at least trying to, you should be careful because it can be the other way round the person can actually take you away from your faith as no one can bear living with guilty for too long ( this is as in you knowing what is right and wrong and still doing it, e:g this feelings that you are having is you feeling convicted) and if you don’t repent eventually you will start normalising just because you don’t want to deal with it.

Also we can never go wrong when we put God first, it’s very easy saying than done ( currently struggling) but yeah it’s a sacrifice worth to be paid

put your situation aside and look at it through the lense of God and see things from a biblical perspective.. you’ll see that you want to turn from sin and fully seek God! you can’t do anything without praying so i would pray constantly about this, seeking breakthrough but it says not to be unequally yoked.. i married an unbeliever and i absolutely love my husband and i know God is working in him and im believing he will be saved but i cant lie when i think about how life would be with a believing husband and raising children with no conflicting beliefs.. separate yourself from him and definitely flee from fornication so you can fully focus on God. when i first got saved i told my husband (bf at the time) that i had to move into a separate room and we couldn’t have sex until we were married. i was falling in love with Jesus, reading the bible constantly and going all in with God. i would start there! it’s sooo worth it to be in right standing with God no matter the circumstances!

@Kadma would you say you feel like you could waste your time waiting for your partner to believe? This is how I feel, I have taken him to church at Christmas time a couple of times over the years but that is all, I guess him coming to church even on those rare occasions are good signs. I just fear I’ll stay with this hope and be ultimately disappointed as well as wasting so much of my life

@Samantha Thankyou this is helpful. I hadn’t thought of it like this before. I have actually been thinking about no sex until marriage. Obviously we have previously had sex to have our 2 children but I know god will forgive me and I can move forward as a more faithful Christian. I know I need to hand my situation to God and trust what he has planned x

Yes sis, like Samantha said having a husband who is a Christian is so different from an unbelieving husband in so many ways i.e raising a child, and a God fearing husband God is always accountable to God and it is so nice to have a leader( husband) who leads you to christ and fight the battles with you and you having to do that by yourself is so overwhelming. So I definitely think staying in a relationship with hopes to someone charging is definitely not what God has prepared for me and maybe I am just wasting my time when I could be preparing myself for a God fearing husband. I don’t know if it makes sense, like there are so many things that you can expect from a men whose life is Led by God which you can’t expect from an unbeliever and like my pastor said accepting that is just selling ourselves cheap in a sense.

I mean yes it is a seed but what grounds did it fall on, my bf said he used to be a Christian 🙄🙄 but from the fruits you can tell what kind of relationship they have with God.

@Kadma yes I totally understand what you have said. I would be led closer to god and vice versa with a Christian husband. So maybe I am living a life without god and just attending church on a Sunday. I talk to god but he is not clearly at the heart of my life right now. I am finding this situation hard to deal with because the hope for change is amazing but it’s not real until it is

I wouldnt say you are just attending church or living a life without God. Having a relationship with God is not easy as we have to renounce so many things, but not renouncing doesn’t mean you are a bad Christian or not walking with God is just means we need to grow more spiritually worked harder in building a stronger relationship with God and when we are full of the spirit and less of the flesh certain things doesn’t sit well with us, which I believe is already happening as you said you feel convicted ( trust me if you were just attending church you wouldn’t feel bad about living with an unbelieving bf) but yeah keep praying and getting closer to God you are already going in a write direction

If you want you can message me privately and we can talk more

But yeah don’t be to hard on yourself, give it to God and let him handle it. Just be prepared to accept the outcome it may not be the one you want but Gods plans is always better than ours ❤️ let him be in control

@Kadma I am trying to prepare myself to leave if that is what is right. I guess it’s easy to compare myself to other Christian’s in my life and other god centred relationships. I may message you in the next few days if that’s okay ❤️ I am going to pray and see what thoughts I have for the next few days x

I think you should do more preparing in both cases...have your ducks in a row if God says go. But also...buy a couples devotional that has reflection questions, where you sit down together and read it & then answer the questions. Going to church didn't grow my husband's faith, back when we were bf/gf for 4 years. And I was super into Jesus. What grew his faith was when we joined a co/ed small group and he met other men that loved Jesus. He saw that those guys were just normal guys finding their way in life, working and loving their people...but also devoted to Jesus. They weren't the "churchy" stereotypes he had in his mind. So he felt more comfortable growing in Christ outside of just he and I. Then he was comfortable praying out loud and doing devos and reading our Bibles together frequently. He got baptized in a river with our small group friends. If I had said that he wasn't where I was in my faith & someone else out there might be...oh my heavens I'd have given such a fine man away. 😲

Side note in those 4.5 years before marriage, we did eventually dedicate our bodies to purity & waited the last 2 years on sex til marriage. I wouldn't have the life I do today if I had tried to create it with anyone else. I also wouldn't have the life & family I do if I didn't leave my ex (which was a hs sweetheart 9.5 year relationship that was just going through the motions but not God adjoined/ordained).

@🌻Desy🌻 Thankyou for sharing your experience. I agree actually, although I love going to church I see god better through individuals and being able to talk. Was your husband already a believer when you met or did he completely change his belief after meeting you?

Yes please do message me. Also, if there’s something I learned is don’t compare yourself to other Christian or their relationships we are all imperfect and not everything is what it seems comparing just means we are putting unecessary pressure on ourselves. Just focus on God❤️

He believed God/Jesus were real...and had prayed to them a few times during heart break walking alone in the woods. But it wasn't until about 3 weeks after we met that he prayed, privately, and invited Jesus into his heart. I didn't even know til he told me a few weeks later! He's had a slow and steady growth because he couldn't stand pushy, you're going to hell, Christians.

You could very well plant the seeds that God grows into his salvation...even if you two don't end up married...if you're both saved by grace...that's the ultimate reward. I'll lift yall up in prayer now...

So your situation doesn't have an exact "this is what you do" passage in the Bible. There are some things that are clear and some things that are not. What's clear is: • fornication (sex before marriage) is sin. • when a Christian is already married to an unbeliever, they are to stay as long as the unbeliever is willing to stay. • as a Christian, getting married to an unbeliever is wrong. • family and fatherhood are important. But it's not clear what to do as a believer in partnership with an unbeliever with a child. ...

... My personal advice here would be to stop fornication, but to not make a quick decision to leave the relationship. Prayer is so powerful. I would advise you to pray for your boyfriend, that God will draw him and he will choose to surrender his life to Christ. Live your life as an example of how beautiful it is to live in devotion to Jesus. And continue to pray that God will show you what to do. Maybe you can think of clear signs to ask God for that would show you if you are to end the relationship. Things that wouldn't just happen on their own. I completely understand wanting to be in a marriage with a God-fearing man sooner than later. But since this is the father of your children, I believe it's important to allow the Lord time to work on him, as He has in you, and keep your family together. Like I said, this isn't clearly written out in the Bible, it's just my thoughts on how to take into consideration and apply all aspects of the passages that are relevant. ...

... Love to you, sister. You're already doing so well on the right track in following Jesus. 👣✝️💕

You can be with a non believer and still lead them to Christ by your lifestyle,

A lot of people and children are having visions of Jesus coming back soon…although we don’t know the time…Biblical prophecy is being fulfilled…God is drawing His children into Himself before Jesus comes back..the Holy Spirit is convicting you, God is trying to draw you near…you can try to talk about your faith with your bf but if he is not willing and supportive and open to following Jesus then you may have your answer right there