Calming techniques

I don’t, I let him have his moment and let him know I’m here if he needs me and when he’s calm try and talk to him about how to not get frustrated, regulation etc. Loop earplugs have saved my sanity in the meantime whilst he learns to regulate himself.

@Gemma I wear earphones and try listening to a podcast or music so I stay calm too 😂. It’s so draining though when that type of reaction happens from waking up all the way until bed time. At some point in the day, I get so fed up with it

I know it's hard by try not to react to it the more u react the more he will do . Give him more attention when he does good things or things you have asked him to do .

When my son has a screaming episode I ask him if he needs to take a deep breath and we do it together which seems to help

I let him having a couple of minutes of having his tantrum and then I sit with him and talk about what he is feeling and what is making him feel that way. The other week he had a tantrum because he wanted his dinner (that was cooking and almost ready) so I explained he was hungry and that was ok but we don’t throw things

My LB had a meltdown on the way home from shops today because we saw an ambulance with blue flashing lights (he loves the nee naws) and it went away. Full on, on the floor snot crying and everything. I let him cry for a minute got down to him gave him a cuddle and said I understand you wanted it see it but it had to go to go help the people. They're working. He cried a little more while I gave him a cuddle and after and then I managed to distract him with a snack and letting him walk home. I try doing the same at home, cuddle let him know I'm there and that I understand he's upset and see if he wants to do something else or just cry it out during a cuddle while he regulates himself.

@Claire it really is hard sometimes they last 30+ minutes and I struggle to not react at all in that time. When it happens again not long after, I’m already burnt out from the outburst before. The thing is we’re having lots of bad days lately and his behaviour seems to always be bad, I get in the mindset of oh today will be better and then he’s having tantrums soon as he wakes up 🥲

@Candy how?🥺 I tried this before with the smell the flower, blow the candle technique but he won’t do it

@Katrina how do you get him to stop? I’ve done this and he gets progressively worse and blows up, starts throwing everything on the kitchen side onto the floor and if I put him on the floor he will bang his head 😅. When I try to speak he screams louder

@L 💜 aww🤍 thank you, I do try to do this but sometimes he just gets so overwhelmed he won’t let me hug and pushes me off but I do try

Quite often my LB does too, I'll give him another minute and try hugging him again and sometimes it takes a couple of tries then he kind of melts into me usually still crying and I let him calm down on me instead

Just keep practising and demonstrate it to him and he’ll get there ☺️

We do "calm baby" once he's got it out of his system to an extent - basically hug him and rub his back saying "calm baby". Also find asking him why he's upset generally helps - often stops crying to tell me "mummy, want to go outside" or whatever it is that's upsetting him x

@Shobana aw that actually sounds quite relaxing and helping to deescalate the situation. My problem is I don’t know how to get him to calm down when he’s having a huge meltdown, he can’t self regulate at all and ends up hurting himself. Ah I have tried that but he goes quiet and won’t say anything or starts crying again and gets angry

It’s hard. My son gets dysregulated a lot and get angry, throwing things including himself. You need to know if you’re dealing with true dysregulation, or a frustrated tantrum - the management can look different because during a dysregulation they are not there, they cannot rationalise. For dysregulation, I sit on the floor where he is (not too close!) and keep my eyes on him, I ask him if he would like a cuddle, if that’s a no, I say that’s ok I am here when you’re ready. You are safe, I am here. If he comes over and is aggressive, I say I know you are sad but I cannot let you hit me and get up. If he does want a cuddle, I literally rock him, hold his head and say you are safe, I am here over and over. I also often softly sing a lullaby to him too.