Am I being unreasonable

I had some baby outfits from my toddler that I put away for keepsakes, little memories. My mother in law has been over here staying in our house to help with childcare. She lives in another country, she has been such a great help .. amazing. She’s now away back home and I’ve noticed that one of the outfits is missing (she’s taking a few things previously to take back home) but I’ve just said to my husband that is she’s taking it without asking or telling me I will be really upset because it’s something I wanted to keep as a memory. He’s just went off his head saying she can take what she wants she’s helped us so much and she’s in her son’s house so she doesn’t need to ask …. Now to me, if you take something from behind someone’s back .. it’s stealing. She’s done it a few times with my daughter’s toys too. I would give her anything obviously but all I ask is that she tells me she’s taking it so I know and I’m not searching the house like a crazy person 🤷🏼‍♀️ Am I being unreasonable to ask this after her helping us so much ..? Is this a clash of cultures because my mum is she was here would never in a million years think to take someone from our house without asking 🤔

Show your support

No, you are not being unreasonable. You husband and MIL need to learn boundaries. I don't care what you husband says. If you take something without asking it is theft. If anyone ever did that to me there would never be contact ever again. You wanna fuck around then you'll find out

It’s no longer just him, they are both of your belongings. It’s a two yes one no situation. If I were you I’d be keeping those types of things behind lock and key so she doesn’t just take things

wtf I would lose my shit . This is insane . She had her time! She had her own kid. I never understand this shit .

I’d hide the stuff . Or take it to your mom’s house or someone you trust house cause there’s no way someone is gonna take my baby’s stuff. Yes it’s my husbands baby too, but I and I alone birthed her. I have the last decision on everything period.

You’re not being unreasonable. Her helping you out was never transactional meaning she didn’t offer to help u on the basis of you paying her with items from your child’s childhood. It’s completely out of order for you’re husband to accuse you of being irrational when it’s flat out stealing, it doesn’t matter who it is, if a cleaning lady came to you’re house and cleaned for free during postpartum and offered to clean because she’s doing it out of the kindness of her heart then took some food out you’re fridge upon leaving it would be stealing regardless of the fact she did you a service. You’re husband is an enabler and I’m so greatful for this app because it’s exposed how much men around the world are actually enablers when it comes to their mothers. I don’t think it’s a cultural think I believe it’s a mother and son thing and it’s usually mother and sons of 1 of 3 stages The son is either: • An only child • the moms first born or • the youngest of all the kids

But there is definitely a worldwide problem with men enabling their mothers if he continues to let these things his mother will continue to do things behind you’re back and that then opens up the door for her to come between you’re relationship because you’re no longer seen as a united front

Thanks everyone, it’s nice to know I’m not going crazy! He’s away to bed without even saying good night because he’s that pissed off that I’m all the bad ones 🤷🏼‍♀️ He always said I should treat his mum like I would treat my own mother especially after I lost my mine a few years ago … but if my mum done that I would need to say something!

I’m sorry but if he’s gonna but his mother over you, he can also fuck his mom. Hes giving mamas boy to the fullest extent . And she knows she can get away with that type of stuff too.

My husband threw something away the other day and I’ve been looking for it ever since because I didn’t know it was tossed. It was a wire basket and my heathens had twisted it to be ruined so it needed to be trashed but I didn’t know that and still thought I was going crazy because it was missing. I finally asked him today and he immediately told me what happened. If it was an actual item of sentimental value, I’d be absolutely beside myself trying to find it. If I had a houseguest “help” themselves to it, I’d be livid. I don’t care who you are, you do not take my babies things without my permission. You had your chance with you babies, now it’s my turn.