I don’t want my in-laws around my baby

Let me be clear, they will absolutely have access to my baby. There is not a good enough reason to keep my son away from his paternal side of the family. They’re not dangerous or abusive. I just don’t get along with them at all. They tried to convince my husband to leave me several times before we found out we were pregnant. (My husband is the only child that moved out of the house and I think they blamed me that he never came home). Since we’re pregnant now, they seem kind of defeated knowing that I’m truly a permanent member in their lives. Now I feel like the wrapping paper on a present they want. I simply just don’t want to share my son with them. This is an immature stance. I am going to get over it, I just don’t know how yet. I need to work on forgiveness, even when others don’t change. I am trying to remind myself that just because my in-laws are shitty in-laws, doesn’t mean they’re shitty grandparents/aunts/uncles. Any advice?

Show your support

Just try if they're good to your son. However, if they keep disrespecting you your husband needs to be the one saying something to them. Some of my husband's family actually ended up being shitty relatives to my son and their behavior towards me didn't improve, it actually got worse, so we had to cut them off when my son was 6 weeks old. They never even ask about him and two of them see my husband all the time because they work together, so I have no regrets whatsoever.

Have you talked to your partner about this, and if so what are his thoughts? Has he talked with his parents about their disrespectful behavior towards you? It might help for him to explain that you two are a united front, a team, but that you aren't his keeper. He's an adult who makes his own decisions. I would want my partner to be advocating for me, and for our decisions together. I think it's fair to hold boundaries around how much time you and your child spend around his parents. I wouldn't want my child to see a family member repeatedly being disrespectful towards me without any sort of resolution or boundary.

My in laws don’t see my son. It’s their loss 🤷🏼‍♀️😂

@Sarah yes, we have had extensive conversations about it. I’m thankful that he’s chosen to stand by me no matter what. I even had a discussion with him about my relationship with his family before we got married. A sort of, “you know you’re signing up for someone who doesn’t mesh with your family”, chat before signing the dotted line. He supports my boundaries. You do make an excellent point though. If I’m disrespected in front of my child that certainly won’t be acceptable.

Just to go against the grain. It could be tricky some people may or may not treat your child poorly because it came from you.

@Mariah I have definitely thought about this. At the moment, I sense that they’re trying to ignore my part in his life completely. Like, I’m just acting as a vessel for their son’s child right now. However, once they see that he is half of me too I don’t know how they will react. If they treat him as less than because of his mama, then they don’t need to be around him at all

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