How much help do you get from your partner around the house? Specifically SAHM with little to no income
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Not understand the point system but my husband works 6A-2P and cooks, vacuums, does the dishes and does bedtime routine. He does his own laundry. I do mine and our toddler’s. He does the linens too. He doesn’t spend time with our toddler outside of this. He’ll put a movie on he wants to watch and sometimes something for our toddler to watch. I can’t wait for spring and summer. We’ll be out and about a heck of a lot more!
I give him a solid 4.5! I do not let him touch laundry because he does it wrong and drives me crazy lol he also makes breakfast often and always wakes up with our toddler so I can sleep in. Took .5 off because he helps our kids make the messes often 😂
I’d say a solid 4! He is a very attentive parent and husband when he is home from work but doesn’t do much around the house but that’s simply because I’ve usually done it and don’t ask him too. Today for example he let me sleep in and I’ve woken up and the house is spotless and he’s playing playdoh with our daughter. So he’s a star!
I'd say a 4-4.5 . He does sometimes annoy when he doesn't do the dishes it's his to do. But other than that ,he does his laundry, makes me tea and breakfast, and gives me breaks from baby. Bedtime and bath are his. He mostly does outside things like building me a pig pen and now for goats and chickens. He works 4am to 6 pm, so I understand when he is not able to. During the weekends, he makes up for it.
When my husband is home, he’s amazing. I pretty much clock out of “mom duty” when he gets home until bath time, then I do that while he does the dishes and then he does bedtime while I pack his lunch. He DEFINITELY does all of his own laundry and usually gets to the rest of it before I do. However, he’s in the military lol. So there’s a pretty big chunk of the time where he’s just not home. And that’s not his fault, but that doesn’t mean I’m not playing single mom for most of this year 😂 I’ll give him a solid collective 4.5
My spouse is super. When he gets home, he is either entertaining our lo or doing chores. He puts her down to sleep at night. I am 10 weeks pregnant and it’s very nice having help like this
I have a side hustle (selling cakes and cupcakes out of my home and I’m in school right now online).
A ton, 5/5! He usually is the one who makes dinner, a lot of weekends he will stay home to clean and I'll go do something with the kids to get them out of the house OR we will split the cleaning tasks. He often takes the kids out to lunch on the weekend so I can nap. I'm also super into theater and he's so supportive, does both bedtime routines with both kids so I can be at rehearsals or so I can go see a show with my friends. Every Saturday morning, he takes our son when he gets up (typically 7:30am) so I can sleep in, even though my husband gets up early for work every morning (we switch in the afternoon, i take the kids so he can get a nap, balances out) Sometimes I feel guilty because I feel like he doesn't get a chance to do stuff. But he's a homebody who wants to play video games when he gets a break or take a nap when he gets a break, so I'll take the kids to do something to give him that but still...
4-5. Absolutely no complaints. We’re both cleaning up the house currently he’s taken the bins out refilled the bags stacked dishes and cleared up kitchen bench, my sisters coming over to look after our boy at ours so we can go on the Vday date tonight, he booked it a month ago 😂 I do his laundry though because for me that’s payday from all the accumulated notes in his pockets 😂 but he’ll hang and bring in and fold and put away. He made the coffee that I’m currently drinking
I’d say 3.5 - he will do nappies, bath time, bedtime and tidying round the house but has no idea how the fairies do the washing or how plates end up in the dishwasher 😂
My husband does bath time and pjs with our son, used to do bedtime but he's going through a phase when he only wants me. He cleans when the house is messy, cooks and washes dishes. Only thing he hates doing is laundry so I give him a break on that as he does enough I think
If he senses he’s in troubled water I might get a 3- washes dishes- but that’s about that.
Going by my ex as this is the period when I was a SAHM...0-1, the useless arse 🙄. Going by my now fiance and how he has been whilst I've been on mat leave, a 3-4
We're 50/50 in this house x
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He picks up whatever slack I have each week. Whether that's cooking dinner, getting on top of the washing, cleaning the kitchen or washing the floors. He regularly does the bins and changes bums and vacuums but otherwise he sees where I'm struggling and steps in without being asked
he helps if I need but I have to ask him if it’s not laundry or trash & he’s always asking if I need anything from the shops etc esp now bc I’m feeding our son so frequently I really can’t go anywhere — the only issue is we have opposite standards for esp cleaning he doesn’t notice any of what desperately needs doing & he forgets stuff & then gets angry if I remind him or want him to do something at/by a certain time. he does fix anything that’s broken & this weekend making us new hanging book shelves. he’s always asking if I want him to bring me anything while I’m nursing esp & anything with our son he’s jumping to do until he returned to work he changed waaay more diapers than me & he’s the king of contact naps etc - but he still has time to chill with this friends do most of what he did before vs im regularly passing out from exhaustion am lucky if I get to shower every other day or have time to try 💩& almost never able to do pt exercises for birth /pp injuries so keep worsening
A 3
My husband work 12+ hours a day and helps as much with the kids before he passes out.
Me & my husband made a deal as we are both stay at home parents. He looks after the cleaning of the house & I do most of the care of our little boy. Although we do both help with each other's jobs as well.
Well I m not gonna vote because I would have to put a 4-5 rank. But I won't put a super hero status to my husband for doing his part in our household. Change the narrative. If you see a men washing dishes and clean his home as a super heroes is part of the problem.
@Aurélie thanks, reading all these responses is definitely helping me realize how unbalanced my household is and that is the perspective I made this list from. I guess I thought my predicament was more common.
Thank you all for responding! I’ve gotten a lot more feedback than I expected and it definitely helps put into perspective what an equal household looks like.
@Sarah I'm sorry but why is housework your job? He lives in the house as well, does he not? He eats from the plates as well, does he not?
He’s super… he caught our second son during second pregnancy. He changes diapers, cooks , cleans , lays the oldest down to sleep… and a number of other things… before the kids if I was having a breakdown he’d stay up all night with me even having to work at 4,5 in the morning…. Im grateful my dad presented a great romodel to look in a man… because my husband has a lot of those traits patience, gentle but tough. I’m grateful
When I'm home with kiddo he's my responsibility. When my spouse is home it's 50/50 and that's when chores get done. So they get home I get a baby break and do some cleaning, then I take kiddo again while they do some of the other chores. And days at home is 50/50. They do most of the diapers, and I do most of the feeding. I usually do baths, but they usually do reading and snuggling at bed time
Everything but laundry lol it also depends on the day
I feel like this scoring system should include negative numbers...