Mental health concerns

I worry about how my children will be effected by my partner’s and his family’s mental health problems. They’re not diagnosed but him, his sister and his mother definitely have a different experience of reality. It’s not so bad with him but with his mum and his sister it’s very concerning. His sister will swear up and down that she has/hasn’t said something and then when faced with the truth/proof then say ‘oh fair enough maybe I did say it’ and then move on. I’m worried that for my children, the gas lighting might impact/confuse/make them doubt themselves as they get older. Any thoughts on things I can say to my kids? I know I won’t be able to change my SIL and MIL and I know it’s not malicious.

Show your support

Hmmm I would further educate yourself on what gaslighting is. Gaslighting can't be done in a non malicious way. It sounds like they're manipulative.

That’s rude to say @Jessica . She is concerned and loving her baby.

I would put as much distance as possible.

@Katie I don't think so. It seems factual to me. And to me, telling the truth is always the best thing to do. Also, I didn't say anything about her loving her baby? I'm not sure what that has to do with anything. To me, if she loves her baby, then that's all the more reason to figure out who is toxic?

@Jessica placing judgment on people and labelling them as ‘toxic’ without considering their trauma and defences is a lazy ignorant way to approach the world and other people. The question wasn’t what is wrong with them or how to fix them. The question was how to best support children to understand that not everyone is capable or resourced enough to be confronted with the truth.

Sorry, babe, but toxic is toxic, especially when we're talking about gaslighting. I have 25 years of extreme abuse trauma, yet I choose to not be abusive or toxic. At some point, it is a choice. But if that doesn't resonate with you, then that's your choice to do something different. However, what I said is what I know personally and professionally, so that is my truth.

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