Am I the a**h*le?

So with it being Valentine’s Day and all, my husband and I agreed that we weren’t going to celebrate this year because we just can’t afford to quite frankly. We have so many bills we are literally pinching pennies to be able to afford groceries. We agreed no flowers, no gifts, no cards. Just chilling at home together and watching a movie. My husband came home today with $54 worth of flowers. And if I’m being entirely honest, they were ugly. So I made him take them back to the store for a return so we can pay for groceries for the week. Am I a massive bitch for this? There have been so many occasions where he hasn’t matched the effort I’ve put in and now all of a sudden he does this. And like, I appreciate it and all, but what the hell man. Why don’t men listen? Now he’s pissed off and I’m not too sure what to do. He knows that our budget is not even remotely flexible. Was I supposed to feed us the flowers for the next week? Fuck.

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I mean it is kinda ungrateful because he rather make you happy now and figure out something for later. He might’ve already had a plan for next week , you never know. It’s a lot of women that don’t receive anything.

@Milan See the thing is I asked him if he had a side job or something to pay for the flowers and he said no. And then I asked him if he knew how much money we have in our account and he said no. I get that I may come across as ungrateful, but we are nearly out of formula and we don’t get financial help from anyone. Our child needs to eat and so do we.

I don’t think you’re being ungrateful. Nice gesture completely wrong timing especially since you guys already discussed it. It just made you stressful and overwhelmed about your budget. Your feelings are valid.

You were being practical. You weren't thinking of yourself, but your family & how you were all gona survive the next week. Hopefully he doesn't take it to heart too much 🥹

If you've already agreed not to do anything, why is he spending money you don't have? Especially on something that is going to die in a few days. Flowers are a HUGE waste of money

He’s probably looking at it like you need some TLC because he noticed that you’ve been stressed. I understand you on the money management part 100% though. Have you tried applying for WIC? Inbox me.

Thank you all, I just don’t know how to make it better now. I feel like I take on a lot of the mental load of being the one paying our bills and taking care of our home and our baby and everything so he lives in this ignorant bliss while I’m stressing constantly. And it’s hard having the same conversation over and over trying to beat it into his brain about how I feel. So now it’s up to me to make him feel better even though this could have been completely avoided had he stuck to our agreement. 😓

have you thought about WIC?? they can provide your formula and other foods so that way it’ll give you guys a little wiggle room in the grocery budget department for things like those flowers.. i see both sides of it maybe talking and validating both you and his feelings about the situation so there’s some real understanding and hopefully he can understand your POV

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