Am I in the wrong?

So, my partner often plays online gambling games and he doesn’t necessarily waste any of his money, he tends to lose any winnings and is back at 0. Today, he put £20 on there and he won £400, then £800, then £1000 until he was at £1400. I told him to quit whilst he’s ahead and he said he feels another big wing coming. I told him fine but don’t get it under £1000. 10mins later he said he cashed out at £500 and doesn’t understand why I’m annoyed. We live paycheck to paycheck. We have holiday to pay off and repairs due to the car. We’re both overdrawn and have debts, bills and a baby. I know it’s not my money and he only put £20 in but I am genuinely so annoyed. I told him to not bother telling me about his “winnings” until he realises he’s in the sh*tter and decides to quit and he got upset over it. Like why tell me you have £1400 and waste it on further bets? He said I have no right to be upset as he put £20 in and won £500 but we could’ve had £1400 if he listened. And no doubt he will put more in tomorrow to “win big” and won’t listen. Again, he won’t actually lose any of our existing money (maybe £10-20 a week to deposit) just the winnings. Do I have a right to be upset? He does gamble occasionally but he won’t put in more than £20 a week or so, so it’s not like he spends loads. I also enjoy the fruitier at the pub and scratchcards so I can’t tell him not to.

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Its so tricky, cause hes made money fair enough but this also shows a gambling addiction. Idk but these small addictions always ALWAYS get bigger or worse. I get why your upset i definitely would be its not really about the money you lost i guess its about him not listening and letting it get to his head

You can check to see if they are up or down money from a certain date. I got my partner to check his and he was over 1k down within the past 9 months! He always justifies it and never seemed to be loosing out on money. Love we saw the dramatic loss it was that bit easier for him to try stop x

You have every right to be upset. Gambling is a tricky business and it can soon lead to him using your 'family money'. I'm talking from experience. Have some sensible but serious conversations about your concerns.. please. Because it can destroy relationships. When you live paycheck to paycheck £50 is a lot of morning to loose, let alone £900+

This is how it starts

Sorry but I’ll bluntly put it. From what you’ve said in your post, neither of you have the financial luxury to be spending, especially not the way he’s doing by ‘online gambling it’ and risking it. Priorities 1st, play 2nd.

It doesn't sound to me like he should even be putting £20 a week on it! I'd be fuming tbh, as what kind of idiot has £1400 and then continues to gamble it and loses a further £900?! You're right, quit whilst you're ahead!

I'd be upset about him wasting £20 a week (~£1000 a year) on gambling to be honest. Irrespective of this win. The money he's won this week only puts him even over the last 6 months or so. You live paycheck to paycheck so I doubt you can afford to keep funding this gambling habit. He will only lose in the long term and so will you.

I would log into his banking and see the actual amount he is truly spending online because if he surprised if he’s only spending that much. But no one should be gambling while they are in debt so you’re not in the wrong.

I’m sorry but people with gambling issues are very good at being deceitful about money. My partner had a gambling addiction and would tell me of it’s just the odd tenner here and there. It wasn’t until he cleared our joint account in the space of 40 mins I found out the extent of it all, he didn’t realise he’d linked the joint account to the site. I was fuming and it nearly ended us. It’s really hard to know the truth of it all until you look / find out. He was in denial that he had an addiction to it, but after going through his bank statement he admitted he was and immediately signed up to gamstop. 3 years later he’s doing really well now. I would personally sit down with your partner and talk them through it all and see if you can get them to go through their bank statement just so they can add up how much they’ve spent, because sometimes they don’t even realise the extent of it all when it’s just the odd 10 or 20 here and there. Xx

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