Is it ever okay to go to your husbands mom and basically spill y’all’s business in hopes she’ll actually be able to get through to him 😅 my husband did something that REALLY pissed me off (not drugs or cheating or anything like that)

Did she take your side

It depends on the mom… if it is a mom that will hold her son accountable then I think it could help but if she is the type to choose her son over everything i would not

i think it really depends on what it is he did & your relationship w your MIL & his relationship w his mom, otherwise it’s hard to say. since i’m going off of little information i would say best to keep it to yourself but again idk what it is 🤷🏽‍♀️

If you already think it’s not a good idea then I wouldn’t. People can hold grudges or judge or something like that. Including your husband. If you tell on him. I would make talk to his mom just to help him like understand. But I wouldn’t share like specific beans

@Zainab🗝️ I didn’t talk to her yet the more I think about it the more I think I shouldn’t 😭

@Lyss she probably would hold him accountable and talk to him for now but also she’s the type to want to pry into all our business and insert herself in everything and it’s annoying so I don’t want to give her any ammo to do that later cuz she’d also thr type that would bring it up later for whatever reason but not a good one lol

Oh yeah then no… mil who pry are not helping at all… but if you ever need to vent my inbox is always open for you 🫶🏻

@Mia @Gabrielle yeah yall are right and def solidified that I shouldn’t do it lol

I wouldn’t say it’s bad lol but telling her might be more trouble than it’s worth

@Lyss okay I might😬 cuz I cannot put this out here with my dang face 😂

Oh yeah for sure don’t give her ammo that would end up being terrible

And yeah if you need to talk I’m open too haha

For me? My MIL IS my mom. She’s the only real mom I’ve ever known. I’ve definitely gone to her when he’s done stupid shit. Unfortunately she knows he does stupid shit and has all his life and she just laughs 😂

If you do, you have to be okay with your husband doing the same and spilling things to her too. Even if it’s something that you wouldn’t want her knowing about or involved in. Involving family in your relationship can get messy.

For me, my mil is my second mom. I vent to her about everything. And I mean everything. Including my relationship with her son.

I talk to my partners mum about things because she understands and if I need someone to talk to she's there, but I don't expect her to get through to him. She knows how difficult her son can be and also questions some of his ways

Give yourself a week and then make a decision

No because he is a grown man …if he can’t hold himself accountable then why would he listen to his mother?…that’s also a breach of trust too because it’s personal business your husband doesn’t want anyone else to know right? Unless he is actually harming himself or someone else then that’s different, then he needs a loving intervention

No you should not attempt to team up with his mom to double team him. How would he feel about you including his mother in yall personal business? Tbh it sounds like yall have deeper issues to address if you feel like you need his mom to check him b/c he wont listen to you.

I'm a strong believer that your marriage is your business, and bringing people in on your arguments never ends well! I would be mortified if my husband went to my family talking shit about me... it would make the entire situation worse. His mumma doesn't have any business meddling in her sons love life 🤷‍♀️ sorry (This, of course, does NOT apply to any abusive/dangerous relationship)

No, that's a terrible idea.

Tough one. I think it depends on your mother in laws character. My husband actually did this with my mom once. I was pretty pist he involved her in our business but my mom is a saint. It ended up being helpful and I think I needed that wake up call and hearing it from her. But it doesn’t always play out like that. Only you know your mil.

Yes sometimes they need to hear a 3rd person or outside perspective for someone to tell him to pull his socks up and that what he’s doing isn’t good enough. I see many posts on here that have douchebag partners and sometimes if their men had good people around him (friends, family) that could tell him to change his ways it’ll help the Mum a lot. My hubby and his besties all keep each other in line and when one of them slacks they get an earful from the others.

Nooooo don’t do it. Your marriage is your marriage. It’s you and your husband as team, not you and your MIL. I personally would be nervous about inserting my MIL into my marriage.

Please don't my partner had alot of anger issues when we had our son so I left him and took my son and my partner agreed I did the right thing but his mum told me I was in the wrong for taking his son away from the situation

If he needs an intervention (gambling or something really serious) then sure. Otherwise no

No, I think it will effect the trust in your relationship with husband. Talk to the husband if something is really bothering you. Or talk on here incognito to gain perspective on the problem maybe 🤔

Eh it massively backfired on me. Many years ago My ex and the father of my baby was spiralling with drugs as we’d split up. It consumed my life trying to make sure he was safe as he was getting worse and worse. Finally I couldn’t handle it alone anymore and got both him and his mum round to mine and made him tell her everything that was going on and how he’d tried to take his own life etc. meeting went ok and they left together. I thought finally maybe she could offer him some support to take a tiny bit of pressure off of me as I had a young baby and a full time job to try to keep going. Well it turns out that as soon as they walked out of my house his mum said don’t worry son, I know it’s all lies and that she’s a liar!!!! 😩

I’ve told my partners mum if I’ve been annoyed and upset with him and she just reassures me or talks to him on the sly depends what it’s about but suppose

It’s probably not the right thing to do ever but I’ve done it. My mom passed away when was quite young so don’t really have anyone to talk to about this stuff - he did a couple really not ok things at the beginning of our marriage I felt someone else needed to help hold him accountable for.

My MIL thinks the sun shines out of her sons ass so I’d never in a million years talk to her about him or anything personal🤣

@Becky same!

I have definitely called my MIL, and asked her to handle her son before 🤣🫠🙃 And she does.. Sometimes even when he vents, his parents set him straight

Ok, so it REALLY depends on yapls relationship. In general, i would say no. This could be very damaging to yalls relationship. I do think that if you honestly feel that she can help you guys, it is worth considering, but you need to consider how important her help would be, and what the consequences could be to your relationship.