Would you....

normally I would say yes with it being a big birthday he might want to keep all the cards with it being a big birthday.. but it’s completely up to you, don’t feel obligated to as he has chosen to step away so that is his own fault. Me personally i probably still would but I’m way too soft and giving for my own good! 😭😂

At first I thought you meant step away from the relationship and I thought yeah give him a card from his daughter. But now I’m thinking it means stepping away from his child, in that case he does absolutely fucking not get a card!!

It sounds like he's not your boyfriend and now he doesn't want to father your daughter. You want to buy him a birthday card?

Get him one but don’t send it. So if anything comes back you can say you stepped back so I saved it for when you were ready x

Thanks for the comments.. He stepped away but apart of me hopes he will come around for his daughter. Just to be clear he is going to be 50th so a grown man not a young man turning 21. Apart of me is like no way, as he stepped away again in January but he didn't get her a thing for Christmas. Then another part is like well she is here and I want her to know I tried when she gets older. Because I really have. @Jess that may be an idea.

Wait. He stepped away from you or he stepped away from you AND the baby?

What does "stepped away" even mean? Sounds like he's breaking up with you, refusing to raise his child so he can go and do what he wants for a while and keep you waiting in the wings by framing it as "stepping away", you shouldn't even be giving this creature the time of day

If my BD needs a break from me… okay. Breaks can be healthy and time to yourself can be very enlightening. My baby dad gets into little funks and I tell him it’s okay for him to take some space. But if he’s taking that same break from our child, then I have lost all respect for him and I am done. My kid shouldn’t have to accommodate grown feelings and I will never teach him to not have expectations of his father. He will not want for love. I could never see myself being okay with a man saying he needs a break from his own child.

Girl why? I’m literally sitting here shaking my head cuz I’m trying to understand why any woman wud be sending their EX a birthday card. It this the twilight zone. Please move on, leave that man who left u alone. Have some dignity please sis

@Amber I need to pin 📌 that last part of ur comment! “U shudnt even be giving this creature the time of day” cuz I agree with u with every fiber of my being. I’m so upset that this OP mama even took the time to make a post abt that fool. Absolutely not! Like that man doesn’t deserves anything at all from her. Ugghh I want OP to see that! She needs to leave it alone

@Jessica thank you for your post it really cements how I feel. @Jasmin sometimes when youve faced a lot and overcome a lot sometimes you second guess yourself and need clarity to know you are doing the right thing. I'm working everyday to overcome past trauma but sometimes I second guess what I know is true and fills me with anxiety. It was coming from a place for my daughter not for myself.

Aweee mama. I’m sending u hugs & love! I hope U know ur stronger that problems & Ur trauma. Everything u face in life, God knows ur able to overcome it that is why we are called to battle. U will make it thru the rainy days, the rainbow will appear. Just keep working on urself 🤗🫶🏾

He walked away from your daughter and you still want to worry about him? Focus on yourself and YALLS daughter. Hes a grown ass man and by the age of 50 has lived plenty of life to decide whether or not he wants to be around Why even worry about someone that isn't worried about your daughter? Your 9 month old will have no recollection of weather she sent a card at 9 months or not. It sounds like you need this for yourself. If you feel you need to send one, then send it. However me personally I would never. Walk away from me. Cool. Walk away from our daughter its fuck you and everything you're about..sending him a card in my eyes is like begging him to hear you. Sowmtimes actions speak louder then words. You NOT sending a card could really open his eyes and think wow maybe I missed out.

I mean I think it depends? There's people who "step away" for selfish reasons, but then there's people who are just going through something, aren't ready, etc?

Incognito, I've been there. Look at the pattern. He doesn't like you. He's 50 . He's not going to change. Can you live like this for the rest of your life and normalize his behaviors while your daughter is watching? Would you want your daughter to be with a man like him? Stop letting him treat your baby like a maybe. Grieve what used to be and what could have been. Grieve hard and then release the idea of him. Work on your anxiety and get your confidence back to trust yourself again. Make room for your real husband and your daughters REAL dad to step in.

@FIYA this is the best response. Thank you.