Disappointed With Valentines Day

I’m really trying to be grateful especially since he doesn’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day but for weeks he’s been telling me I will cry for Valentine’s Day. We were supposed to go out but he had car problems and it messed up the plans so we celebrated at his house . When I got up I opened the door and He put the rose petals on the floor and at first I was excited. He had this heart things hanging from the fire alarm thing and I could tell they were meant to be spread out but maybe he forgot the tape. He blew up maybe 4-5 heart balloons and the rest of the rose petals trail lead to the couch with a bouquet of flowers and a small teddy bear. Also, some red candles he tried to write “Be Mine “ with on the floor…. I was definitely unimpressed then he didn’t even clean the fricken house! Not even the living room he just pushed everything to the side had dishes ,clothes and plates. He told me to sleep in that morning and that he got me and I woke up to that bs. I could tell he was really proud of it too smh Ft his parents and friends and I was so embarrassed but tried to play it off. On top of that he was like do you want to know how much everything cost and I’m like nope . one I could tell the the decor came from SHEIN which could’ve work if he had utilized his time better and he was kinda bragging and happy at the fact he didn’t have to spend a lot of money… The only plus was he ran me a bubble bath… but it was ok I had to tell him to clean the tub or else I don’t think he would’ve … In the beginning he told me he goes all out for the woman he loves and love planning for things but to me that was just bs. He could’ve just said nothing and woke me up with the flowers and bear… I really do want to say something but I know I’ll get called ungrateful , well no I don’t think he will call me that but he definitely will think that.

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Wow. Don't know what to say. I don't want to sound mean or judge without knowing you or your situation personally but I suppose you're asking us. Is this not just a case of "Comparison is the thief of joy"? Have you just seen what is on social media or what your girlfriends have got and are now wishing you had had the same. I would say he went to a lot of effort and now you're nitpicking. So what if he pushed stuff to the side? I often do that on a special occasion, it's a lot of work to prepare for an event and tidy the whole place on top of that. At the end of the day (or night) what is important is the two of you and your time spent together... Think do you care about him or is it more about what he can do for you? Sorry if that is a harsh question. Just something to contemplate.

No I haven’t been on social media until after the day because I made him a nice big breakfast/brunch and we still enjoyed our time with each but my first initial reaction was wtf is this. Like I said in the post he could’ve just woken me up and hand me the things but yea that was amess. and my family and friends don’t receive anything they’re all single. And it’s not the comparison or anything I’m just wondering if I’m not worth that extra effort/value and it’s starting to look like a pattern. He’ll hype me up for some type of fancy/fun thing and it’s never to what I expect or someway somehow plans are changing or canceled . His car was messed up the night before Valentine’s Day but even during that day and now he’s still driving it. The only reason we couldn’t go out that day was because he was afraid of driving it

I do care for him but the bowls or plates and the mess could’ve been thrown in the sink/trash I seen him do it before for the kids in under an hr for a last minute event. Even if it is his best idk if I have to just accept it. It’s not at all fun on my side when I feel let down and I always go out my way for him

I totally get it, cuz the fact that he was so proud of himself and bragging about going all out while also bragging about how little he spent when clearly the energy to even clean the house wasn’t there either.. and then we already know he expected some booty in return lol.. it paints kinda a depressing image of future things like this and it’s not wrong that you’re disappointed. I feel like as women we’re conditioned to be satisfied with the bare minimum and not speak up or we risk being “high maintenance” or insufferable

Don’t let him or anyone else convince you that you’re not worth more than what you got! IMO all of us would fare better by raising our standards and communicating that early on

I actually get what you're saying. It felt cheap. Like him saying "do you know how much it costs" and bragging really cheapens it. The not cleaning thing would bother me too. However it DOES come off as ungrateful so personally i dont think id say anything, especially since he seemed excited and thinks he did a good thing so dont wanna kill his joy. Maybe for the next holiday you pay for a housecleaning service lol.

I don’t think it comes off as ungrateful at all. He’s the one that was bragging and got your hopes up, and he couldn’t even clean up? If you just accept subpar in fears of sounding ungrateful, things never get better. He didn’t really present something to be grateful for. You definitely deserve better. A lot of people on this app have the mentality of “be glad you got anything at all, even if it sucked” and that’s truly sad. I would talk to him about it.

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