Would i be the asshole
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It's your birth your way including anyone who's at your birth. The only people at mine were my husband and mom. It sounds like your sister wasn't trying to be malicious with the advice even though you didn't necessarily want it. You can just take the advice with a grain of salt. Same with the church thing. Probably not out of malice while not actually seeing/hearing you and how you feel about church. You can explain to her that you feel like you'd have a better relationship if you didn't feel like you were always being pressured into church stuff
@Chloe i know i don’t owe them anything and i keep seeing people saying that they would rather it just be them and their partner and how close it brought them and i only said yes because i didn’t know what to say to her but i don’t want her being all up in my business in such a vulnerable time for me and she’s got 4 kids so she really wouldn’t be missing out i just feel weird and if i told her i didn’t want her there she’d try to guilt trip me into letting her be there
@Abbyie That makes sense. I'd just make sure you tell her you changed your mind ahead of time so that she doesn't feel like you lied to her. I'm sorry she'll most likely attempt to guilt trip you but you can be strong and I hope your husband supports you
@Chloe we’re not married yet but he would be on my side but I know the conversation with her won’t go over good and I don’t necessarily need or want the stress
Things went horribly with my family inserting themselves during my birth (I had pre-eclampsia too). I asked to keep it on the dl that I was even in labor. So I only wanted my parents and brothers knowing. They couldn’t respect that and told everyone and then everyone wanted live updates and my mom was making calls in my labor room and not at all supporting me through contractions and basically, they aren’t even going to know when we are pregnant next let alone when I’m having the next baby. So, no, you don’t owe them anything and don’t do anything for them. I definitely regretted it and wish I had just kicked my mom out.
@Gracie i didn’t tell anyone until she was out of me but now my grandma who i live with thinks it’s okay to invite people over to see me and baby without my knowledge and was planning on letting them hold her we’re not in a place where we can move it makes me frustrated and angry
@Abbyie that’s so infuriating. I definitely am learning to stand up for myself and my baby as a first time mom
@Gracie it’s frustrating and overwhelming and she tried to make me feel bad because I didn’t go up and entertain it and they also don’t realize I have no problem when I’m able to completely moving across the country or world to keep them away from my family the one I’ve built not born into
I didn't tell people until the next day with my second and it was the best decision ever. I loved how peaceful it was but having to send updates or worry about people showing up and giving their opinion on my family's life. I'm doing the same with my baby due this spring. You don't owe them anything and it seems like you're handling them kindly as it is.