MIL

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable by not wanting that / not wanting to think about that and being anxious. She may just be being nice, but your baby your rules!! Maybe attempt another conversation with your partner at some point and then set some boundaries for visitors etc. There will be no need for her to do that in the first few weeks anyway (assuming your partner will get paternity leave) and then you’ll want to establish a routine when he goes back to work. Do what you feel comfortable with and don’t let anybody make you feel guilty for setting boundaries x

I think from her perspective she knows how hard it is to do it on your own. Especially the first 6-8 weeks with the baby feeding every 3 hours. I think she’s trying to put your needs first and from your perspective you feel she is taking your baby away. I hope that makes sense but when I had an emergency c-section with my first and was bed bound for a couple of weeks I was so thankful for my MILs help.

You’re absolutely not being over the top. If it makes you uncomfortable your partner should at least validate your feelings and hear them out and talk about it with you about where his thoughts lie with it. As there’s been some comments made to me and even though they’re “not serious” or “trying to be helpful” I still don’t like them being mentioned because it makes me uncomfortable/ a little sad. I’ve written out a black and white list and my job is to communicate my boundaries with my partner, we talk about them make sure we’re on same page and then I talk with my side of family and he talks with his. And I’ve made it clear if anything gets crossed then I will speak up/ kick someone out of our flat/ leave someone’s house etc. see if he’d be up to sitting down and writing something similar with you :) xx

@Tia thank you for responding .. I needed to hear this x

Does she mean straight away like in the first few days? I wouldn’t want that either. But if she means the odd time a few weeks/months down the line, you might think differently. I take any help I can get from my family/ in-laws, I love a couple of hours of hours to myself to shower, facemask etc

May I ask what the definition of a MIL is? Is it short for Mother in law?

Ah just seen a previous comment confirming it is mother in law. I feel its very important that YOU are comfortable with the set up/situation. And if not by all means voice this in a reasonable manner. Of course we all need help/assistance but I strongly believe it should be done in a way that makes YOU comfortable throughout. Your feelings and emotions are definitely valid x

Not unreasonable to not want to be separated from your baby at all. Real help would be her coming over and cleaning, cooking, washing. Taking the baby is not helpful! Partner should be on your side

That’s weird. Why would she take the baby out whilst you shower? My own mum is coming to stay for a few days once baby is a month and a half old and even she said she’d get baby ready and dressed whilst I showier to give me a break - at no point has she even hinted at taking my baby anywhere without me lol. Unless my husband or I are with her, she isn’t going anywhere.