Looking for some advice, please 🙏🏻

Hey all you lovely people! I'm 40 weeks exactly today.

My mum is over from abroad and she has no house here or anything due to living abroad.
I said a month or so ago that if she visited, she would need to stay in a hotel or Airbnb etc as I just wanted my privacy at this time before imminent birth of baby and didn't really want to host anyone in my house.
I'm a very awkward and private person anyway and I know she is my mum and our relationship is fine but I can't help but feel massively guilty that I have a spare room she can stay in to save money while she is over here but at the same time I did give fair warning?
How would you ladies feel with hosting a parent in your house at this time when you are due to give birth any day and then having to risk having parent around on the return from hospital?
My sister seems to think I'm an a-hole for making my mum pay to stay somewhere else, but it's my first baby and I just want to share this time with husband.

If you read this far and have any advice, thank you so much!

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My mum is currently staying with us as I am due anytime now and she will be here for two weeks, at first I was not sure about it either but then I thought she will be of help when little one is here in the early days and she will barely see her otherwise anyway and we have a good relationship all in all. Buuuuut boundaries are important, she has to understand that me and my partner are the parents and she is only the grandmother and that I need to look after myself right now before giving birth and am not here to entertain anyone. But there is no right or wrong. It is an intense and special situation for us right now anyway, if you do not want her staying at your house, this is perfectly fine too and you shouldn't need to have to explain yourself to anyone.

I personally don’t want anybody near me except my OH whilst in labour/early days. I don’t even want anybody I know driving me to the hospital (OH doesn’t drive so we will Uber again). Not opposed to visits after but it’s such a private time. I assume sister might not have children so wouldn’t understand? You don’t get this time back so if you feel strongly then stand your ground, kindly of course.

Snap snap snap! only I'm in Wales and mum is England so not exact but technically abroad 😉 lol

My mum is the only person who can come to look after our house cats whilst I'm in hospital so it's a necessity as much as I wouldnt have her stay with us otherwise.

You're definitely not an a-hole for wanting privacy at this time. Tell her to put herself in your shoes, she clearly doesn't understand.

My mum has actually said when we know when I'm coming out of hospital she might get a local hotel for a couple of nights if we want her to be around but have our own space.

I'd continue with your original plan. Your mum had fair warning, she could have decided to travel later after your new addition was here. Stand firm mamma! X

I've got in laws and my mum coming from abroad as well during the same period of time and my mum will be staying in the spare bedroom as long as she agrees to help me out with house stuff and baby (she'll be here when baby should be about 2 weeks old) but if it's more than one person wanting to stay then definitely not gonna have that. My in laws have booked an Airbnb.

It's your first baby but is it their first grand baby? In my case it is so there's no way I can keep the grandparents away

My mum came over the weekend from abroad and she is staying with us for at least a month. Still waiting for the baby, but I personally wouldn't want to put my mum in a hotel when we have a spare bedroom.

in our community

I've finally done it

I have finally done it. I have finally become the trope, the stereotype.

I have become bitter, resentful, and very overwhelmed and overloaded. I am very unhappy and hit burnout. And I snapped at my husband last night. I work full-time, and work has been very busy so im working late a lot. Im also in grad school. I also have a toddler that has become VERY clingy with me. My husband works shorter days but commutes, so he usually gets home after me by an hour or more. When he gets home, he usually heads to the restroom for at least 30 mins when he gets home. And now my toddler doesnt want anything to do with him. So im doing all the toddler duties until bed. I dont get 5 mins to myself. Not for almost 2 years. I finally hit my wall. I have also, somehow, become my MILs medical ride service and she somehow has an appt every week, it seems?! Shes not sick!! My husband was complaining that he needs to change routine to fit in a workout sometimes, and I lost it. I have been BEGGING for 5 mins to myself for months. I have been telling him how im not good, im going to burn out for months. And between his attitude and him complaining (which really got me b/c he blames me for not being able to work out?! Saying I need help when he gets home so he just cant workout now) I just lost it completely. I told him how unfair my life has become and I have the entire mental and emotional load and it is just not fair. He got mad at me and said "hes trying" when hes literally not trying at all. What do I do?? No one is taking the load from me! And im done and dont know what to do now.
I do not like this version of me.

AITA?

This isn't a major issue, just wondering if I'm being a bit of an asshole.

• I do shift work, 5 out of 7 days, full-time.
• My partner works from home (mostly, sometimes he goes into the office) M-F, full-time.

Anyway, whenever I have a day off during the week he gets in his feelings when I make myself food (breakfast and lunch) but not him. His reason is he's working, I'm not - Which is fair but I've asked him how many times on a weekend has he gotten up, on his day off and made me breakfast and a lunch to take with me to work? You guessed it, 0.

So basically, just because I'm at home I don't think the responsibility to feed him should automatically fall on me when he manages to feed himself just fine while I'm at work.

Cheating 😭

I cheated on my partner of 3 years the other day, our baby is nearly 2. I feel completely awful about it. It was not a planned thing, just an in the moment situation. No excuses or justification, it was wrong. He knows exactly what happened and it’s hurt him so bad. I really want to make it work with my partner and he does with me. We’re so young and in our early 20s. I’m just so worried things will go wrong. Has anyone else been able to make a relationship work after infidelity? 😭

Avoidant husband

I love my husband and he is a good man. We have some issues in our relationship however, as he has an avoidant attachment style (finds romance/intimacy/being emotional difficult). This comes from him having to be independent from a young age and having quite an abusive mother.
The issues in our relationship are mainly around a lack of sex and intimacy. I think the problem is that to feel turned on, I need to feel connected and wanted. My husband (being avoidant) will usually make jokes about being horny whereas I would want to have someone make me feel beautiful/sexy to get in the mood.
It sounds terrible but I've sometimes had dreams about exes that would make me feel this way, and the romance we had (eye contact, intensity, deep words). It makes me feel really guilty but I feel like i'm starved of that. My husband would like a lot more sex but I can't always force myself if I'm not feeling it.
We've spoken a bit about therapy but I know its often really expensive so we probably wouldn't be able to afford it. Do you have any suggestions please? I know that neither of us are wrong in what we want, just different but I'm scared about whether we can fix it or if we're doomed?

Big vent!

Hi mums.
I'm a first time mum in my 40s to twin boys.They are almost 5 months old and the biggest miracle in my life!
I am struggling!!!
I'm pretty sure I have ppa as my pregnancy was a very high risk and all I remember was crying from anxiety of all the ifs!Thankfully even born at 35 weeks and skinny,didn't need iu time.
My husband is not helping much because he's always too busy with work.He will "look" after them usually between 8pm-12am so I can have a chance to sleep.
He expects me to just sleep when I touch the pillow,even though I hear tje babies crying and him don't really bother because most of the times he'll be on his laptop working.
When I tell him I can't relax to fall asleep because I feel you r neglecting the babies,he says I'm the problem becauae I'm always there with them and don't give them alone time!!
I am angry!!I am furious!!
I can't keep.up.with housework becauae someone alwaya neess me and most of the times they nap I either cook and clean tje kitchen,do laundry or try and take a quick nap.
He doesn't help.around the house,becauae..guess what?always super busy.
I asked him nicely we could clean the house together every Saturday morning so it's easier and quicker for both of us and he said no,because he has a lot of work but probably wants to sleep until 12 or 2.
2 days ago a button of his coat ripped and I told him I'll sew it these days.
Earlier this morning while running late for his work,as always,he weara the coat and told him didn't get the chance to fix the button and sarcastically said..of.course u didn't!!!
I spent all night awake because one of the babies had congested nose and we've been trying to reduce one fees at night.
I wanted to punch him!!He left and I started crying...I cry so much,even at 5 months pp...
I can't go on like this anymoreeeee...
The crying in my ears is constant..my head is always numb..I've gained so much weight and can't find the strength to get back on track..
Even if I try to.find a therapist to just talk,is it gonna help?I really don't know😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

If your partners parent passes away

And you and that parent didn't get along are you still go to the funeral?

Not my situation!