Did you know that when a baby cries and you pick them up your actually teaching them how to soothe themselves?

Everything you do*

If you haven’t already, look at ‘The Nurture Revolution’! It’s free on Spotify as an audiobook depending on your location

Yup! They have to be able to depend on you to become independent one day. All about building trust

Nursing/breastfeeding babies aren't "clingy" and nursing your baby actually teaches independence. It's the same science. I couldn't agree more.

It’s interesting that people tend to say that being attentive to your child makes them too dependent on you when there’s no such thing. We actually have evidence to show that children with attentive parents grow up to be more independent - besides all the other benefits of responding to your child’s needs.

Yep I learnt this through experience! And was just a natural response for me. But 2 years in I couldn't agree more!

Raising a Secure Child is a great book that's all about this. When babies are comforted by their caregivers, they learn that someone loves them and cares about their pain, and from that they learn that they are someone who is worthy of love and whose wellbeing matters. You need to have that basic foundation of self esteem - that your happiness, safety and wellbeing is important, that these things *matter*, in order to develop self soothing capabilities. After all, babies intuitively trust that we know what's best for them. If we respond to their distress with kindness and sympathy, they trust that those responses are appropriate responses for distress, and in time they learn to adopt these strategies themselves. If we ignore their distress, then they'll learn to ignore and suppress their own distress, rather than actually soothe themselves. After all, from their perspective, the wisest, most trustworthy person in their lives doesn't think their distress needs to be soothed, so who are they to disagree? 😅

Another interesting read https://www.basisonline.org.uk/

For those who don't believe the science I wonder, have any of you done or read your own contradictory studies?

@Carolyn I completely agree. Although the more I read about it the more upset I get about the amount of parents who do sleep training and how accepted it's become. I know people say you should support others parents and mum knows best but I think when it comes to this it's like a form of child abuse and should be regarded as such. Don't have kids if you're not prepared to put the time, love and sleepless nights in.

I don’t think mums do know best when they’re willing to ignore their baby’s cries in order to get some sleep themselves.

@Skye maybe not, but babies don't know that