I need some outside opinion

The way you talk about her and s very critical and that might be coming across to her, even if you don't outright say things. She also sounds pretty insecure and low self esteem so she would pick up on any negative thing you say or act like and run with it. You might want to try the " kill it with kindness method ". Who knows, she might be having a really rough time and or be in postpartum depression. Since it's your sister in law, I would task your husband with figuring out the issue and making a plan at least for your kid and the niece to hang out.

The thing is I’m petty and I usually say something but my husband told me the same thing “killer her with kindness” and I have and that makes things worse 😳 her and her family have an impression about my husband bc of his past but he is a total different person now and according to them no one can change that much but we have never cared about their opinion bc my brother in law used to be far worse than my husband and they don’t even know that and my husband has never said anything bc it’s not his problem. She hates knowing that life is going good for us because she used to be the “good wife” with an amazing life and always look down on us bc we have nothing in life and now that life is finally going good for us she hates it… you’ll think she should be happy for us but no, they gave us a roof when we needed it and we were always so grateful for that but we also help them pay their mortgage and bills, we bought food to last 2 weeks but her family will always come and finish everything

Then she will say that we didn’t help with food and she didn’t want her family knowing that we were helping them pay bills bc they started struggling they got comfortable knowing we were there always giving them money whenever they asked and yet she would complain about us not saving money to find our own place, we only lived with them for 6 months until we finally found something and got out of their place one day about of nowhere and they were in shock that we were out one day out of nowhere and my husband still helped them paid their bills for a month we were not there in their house anymore and ever since them they have struggled really bad but they hate people knowing that they don’t have the money they pretend to have, my husband and I don’t like to show that we have money they think bc we don’t own a home we don’t have money and the truth is we are not rich but we live comfortably and that’s what she hates..knowing that life is now reversed, we always bought presents for our

Niece and she hated that so much bc her family never got her a presents just bc (according to her husband) so it’s like we couldn’t do nothing nice for our niece bc she would get jealous that her family wouldn’t do the same thing, our niece doesn’t get excited to see her family like she does when she see us and she hates that

Apparently she doesn’t have nothing against my husband but idk what’s about me that she hates so much and it hurts me so bad bc I want to see my niece, my daughter wants to play with her, but it also hurts that she treats my daughter as an outsider just bc she isn’t my husband biological daughter she told my brother in law that “she isn’t even his real niece” and that sh*t really hurt me but I never said anything to hurt just to not cause drama and look at us now 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is a tough one. Your husband should talk to your sister. From experience when you live with your nieces or nephews any adult in that situation would feel responsible for a child. My sister hated that about our family she was never around and we were. Her daughter and I have that very same connection. My sister is always nicer to other kids for the most part. When she is around my 6 year old she plays mother hen with him and it drive me crazy. I will be right there ( I’m all eyes on my kids but not helicopter mom though). She will step in and get on to my son before I even get the chance to open my mouth. It’s part of her personality and I know that she’s a helicopter parent when she has her daughter around us now. All in all your husband and sister in law should sit down and talk and then bring you into the conversation. If she is anything like my sister she recognizes the bond is being insecure and trying to make sure she controls the bonds.

@Lindsay we tried talking to her but it’s not help she pretends to be okay but then start giving the rolling eyes and attitude, I try staying away from my niece sometimes when she will fall she will come to me and I will tell her “Go with mommy and tell her you need a bobo kiss” and she will just ignore her and let her cry and she will just come back crying to me with her puppy eyes wanting a hug. We were pregnant at the same time but my pregnancy was a really high risk because of my health issues so my in-laws were worried about us since this was really a miracle baby and she hated us for that, in-laws still cared about her but weren’t giving her as much attention since she has her family here and we don’t have any family around us.

There’s so much to this that is just crazy to me that a grown ass woman can have this much jealousy. My son was premature and had to stay on NICU for almost a month and my brother in law wanted to see my son and she wouldn’t let him so I would FaceTime him or send pictures so he could see him (whole time my husband knew cause I would ask him first) well she started a rumor about me wanting to have an affair with him and he didn’t want to so she went and told my in-laws that I supposedly said that my brother in law was flirting with me 😂 that shit sounded ridiculous but bc of that my husband and his brother stopped talking to each other, bc she manipulates my brother-in-law