Communicating with my boyfriend

I really hate to ask for help on here because I’m usually really good at communicating, but I am almost 32 weeks pregnant and my heads in overdrive! First of all my boyfriend smokes weed, which I’m obviously not happy about but he did say he would stop before the baby is born, well we are weeks away from meeting our baby and he’s still smoking it. How do I approach this without coming across like I’m being hard work? I mean I know he will stop I just want him to stop now so the smell doesn’t linger when he comes into the house because it really sticks to him. The other issue is that I want to paint the whole house before we get her furniture built, but every time I ask he puts it off and says it’s going to get done, but when?! I’m in true nesting mode and I just want to get everything ready but I feel like it’s falling on death ears, again, I know this is going to be done but as a man I don’t think he realises how my brain is programmed and that I need everything done yesterday, am I being unreasonable wanting everything done right now?

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I would either ask him to start smoking outside only or ask him how you could help keep him on track to stopping (eg cutting down) as going cold turkey when the baby arrives could be really tricky, especially combined with the sleep deprivation a newborn brings! I would say he needs to get going with it before the baby arrives because completely stopping can cause mood changes, insomnia and all sorts! So his body needs some time to adjust! No judgment at all xx hopefully the things you want doing will come when he starts to cut down maybe?

@Jaz he does smoke outside majority of the time I mean I think there’s been two occasions since I’ve been pregnant that he’s smoked inside due to bad weather but apart from that he sits in the garden, but I agree the thought of him being stressed with the going cold turkey is putting me a bit on edge too because we don’t really argue and I already know having a newborn is going to come with its challenges with being such a big adjustment and may cause us to snap so I just wanna make sure he’s okay for when she’s here xx

That’s good then if he already smokes outside! It can take a month for the body to get back to normal after quitting, so maybe say that to him and he will actually want to stop! Maybe scare him into how awful it could be if he stops once the baby has arrived…but in a gentle way😂xx

@Jaz I will do! Thankyou so much for your advice!xx

He has to want to stop himself in able to stop, for the long run. Hope he will for your little one. Have u been to antenatal class? They will tell u about smoking and keeping your baby safe from people that smoke. Might be useful for u both and him hearing it from a third party. Also, If your going to paint the house, choose baby friendly paint as paint fumes are not safe at all. Stay positive and focus on you and baby x

@Sara The house will be done weeks before she’s here and lots of nesting too so will be clean and fume free before she gets here 🥰 and he does want to quit he’s not smoking anywhere near as much as he did before we were expecting I think he’s maybe just underestimated the time scale and how long we actually have before she’s here for him to quit completely, I haven’t been able to find any antenatal classes near me currently 🙈x

Paint fumes are dangerous during pregnancy, have a google and get the right paints. Thats good im sure he will stop hun! What a shame, ask your comunity midwife for classes x

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