Literally how do you do this
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Just wanted to say same. We’ve got a four month old now and when one cries, the other cries and ooooh it tests me when it’s the 3 year old reacting 🙃. I constantly remind myself that it SEEMS like she’s so big after bringing the baby home, but she’s still so little. Doesn’t help in the moment though haha.
How do you stop yourself from yelling at your oldest? I just get SO angry and I can’t seem to stop it
Prepare an automatic response to the yelling so you don’t have to think about how to respond in the moment. Mine is “uh oh, that’s too loud. That’s not how we act.” Then, If he wants something you CAN provide, say “Can you ask nicely? Say “mommy can I please have some water?” Or if he wants something you can’t provide like to stay in the tub forever, offer a small choice “I know you want to stay in the bath but it’s time. Do you want to get out by yourself or have me pick you up?”
You’re definitely not alone 3 year old daughter and 5 month old son My patience bubble bursts when both are crying at the same too. Daughter is more whining and baby well because he is a baby 🤦🏻♀️ As bad as it is I have aloud my son to cry so I can give my daughter attention and then when she is calm and cooperating I calmly tell her, “i have to give your brother his turn for attention now” if she follows me, I don’t tell her no. I allow her as it’s mainly because she now wants to help 🤷🏻♀️.
As an update, I just had lab work done and my doctor confirmed I have severe hyperthyroidism, which can cause a racing heart, hot flashes and irritability so… feeling overwhelmed and angry all the time isn’t entirely my fault. 😭 I’m so relieved, I was really worried I was just a bitch mom
Do we have the same children?? I still get frustrated with my son sometimes but I try so hard not to use the baby as a reason he should chill. It’s hard though, I was losing my temper a lot the first few months but started journaling in the mornings about how I could be a better mom and more patient and eventually I realized he’s going through a lot of hard changes too. At 3, he’s got so much awareness of his body and surroundings that he needs more control but he’s only 3, so he barely has any. I let my son do as much as possible without my help so he has control sometimes and when it comes to tantrums, I’ve gotten so used to blocking it out that I barely hear them both crying 😅 we go through the tub tantrum sometimes too and if he’s just straight up terrible during a tantrum, I send him to his room (explaining that he’s not in trouble but needs to calm down and read a book or play with a toy) and I’ll go in a few minutes later to talk about his feelings.
It’s such a great tool for us because when I come in, he’s usually the one who says “let’s talk about it” while he’s crying. Then I ask specifically what he was most upset about, we go through which feelings he feels on the inside and how to better navigate that together when he’s upset. We read a book together, even while baby sits with us and It always ends with a hug and telling him I understand him and it’s hard being little but we can’t yell or hit when we’re frustrated. He still has tantrums most days but this resets him every single time. I have no advice for the baby though, mine loves constant attention so I’m running back and forth like a headless chicken to give them both what they need 😂
You're not alone. We're going through the same thing. This is really hard especially when the crying and tantrums have stretched your patience past your limit 😫