Am I being fair here?
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@Neena honestly if I wait on him to sort out anything to do with the weekly shopping… no one would be eating. I said the same thing to him that, it comes across as selfish.
Maybe a better alternative would be if you do the weekly shop Incog, based on what extra food he ate last week, order that on top of your regular weekly shop and leave him to make his own meals. It is very selfish to take food intended for others and not even warn them you’ve done this. I would have been pissed too.
Wow that’s very inconsiderate of him. Especially his child. It would be one thing if you had a car to use to get food but literally leaving you stranded with little to no food options is terrible.
How much lunch is this man taking if he's eating yours and toddlers share as well and there's nothing left in the house? I will say it would take a real effort on my husband's part to properly remove all food options, there's always bread, wraps, pitta in the freezer as well as portions of cauliflower cheese etc that I've frozen. Noodles, pasta, always plenty of fresh fruit and veg .... There's never literally no food. When you do a meal plan do you write it somewhere? We have a shared document which says which meal is each day, there can't be any confusion. I think your husband is being selfish but I also don't think most people would appreciate having to say what they're taking for lunch each day if that makes sense? If you're prepping the lunches in advance are you putting names/days on? Tbh if it was me I think I'd stop prepping lunches in advance cos usually lunch is super easy to make on the day, just have a bunch of options and some long life things stocked up.
You've said it's been happening for a few weeks so I dunno if going straight to not preparing meals is the ideal answer here, I think you could have a discussion with him about what you can both do to ensure the food doesn't run out 😊 and then if that doesn't work HIDE THE FOOD
@Rachel we have a shared meal plan document that notifies both of us when ever we’ve added anything to it. The issue is we are currently in the process of moving house and just waiting for a completion date any day now so we’ve been avoiding stocking too much food as we won’t have a fridge in the new house for a few weeks. And our current freezer is very tiny so we can’t really put much in it. We’ve been together for 6 years and have never had the issue so I’ve never had to think about putting names or separate each portion out.
@Rachel it’s been going on for weeks now and I have discussed this with this so I didn’t decide this over night. I did warned him a few weeks back that I would do this if he doesn’t start communicating with me when these no food left
It sounds incredibly frustrating but as a new thing, my first plan would be talk about it between you and consider options before going to 'punishment'
Incog I definitely think you're doing a lot for him with all the prep and he's being inconsiderate so if talking hasn't worked yes I think it's fair to do what you've threatened. I just wonder if because you're moving and it's stressful maybe neither of you are in a particularly good mood at the moment so would look at other solutions beforehand to avoid arguing after having to take more drastic action if that makes sense?
He is a grown up... He should at least step up to prepare the family food for the week and of course basic courtesy to leave your food and your toddler food alone. Sounds like a selfish ass. And taking your car so you can't move from the house ... Nothing seems right to me.
@Aurélie the cat situation isn’t really an issue. He sold his car to sort out our finances and he would usually walk to work but as the weather has been really bad near us, he uses my car but we are hoping to sort him out a car in the next 2 months.
You won't have a fridge so you won't be doing meal prepping then anyways so its not really that big of a deal to stop now. The way I see it you have a few options. Label everything excessively, start sending him a list for two days worth of food at a time, buy a couple extra meals worth each shopping order, or start just prepping your stuff and whats not labeled is fair game for him. You can work out a proper solution when you get settled, but it may be a non issue once the fridge problem is solved.
It sounds like he’s more hungry than you’re anticipating so why not just buy more food and prepare bigger lunches for him?
Why not just buy extra food items for the pantry and freezer. Even if it's cans of spaghetti, noodles, etc that can be for lunch. Husbands probably assuming you know yous are low on lunch meals because you're the one at home all day who can figure it out when you're in the kitchen.
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Like mentioned above we currently can’t buy extra food to keep as we are in the process of moving house and we also won’t be here for a few weeks after moving house. I know how much my husband eats and I make more than enough for him and his fully away of that! I also always ask them when am making lunch if he thinks it’s enough for the week so I don’t just make lunch and assume that I’ve made enough, i actually ask for his opinion. As for labelling things… as mentioned above we are moving so currently space is very limited so we don’t have the space to have separate containers with everyone’s name on it. I have also discussed this with him for weeks now and warmed him that if he carries on, he would have to sort out his own food so it’s not me jumping to the extreme, I have brought this up many times and he just thought he could get away with it and it’s just empty threats.
Why doesn’t he just add on more food to the weekly shop so that he isn’t using up yours and little one’s supply? 🤔 He sounds very selfish. Why would he at the very least not tell you he had taken the food?