Still in the roomate phase

I am 12 weeks PP and to be honest I am only just starting to feel a bit more myself again. I’m still very achy and struggling to do a lot after my c section. But me and my partner are still very much in the roommate phase and it’s getting me down a bit. He leaves at 7am for work and comes home between 5–6pm and we’ve just started a new routine getting baby bathed and in bed by 7 so it’s a quick turnaround when he gets home. Whilst I’m feeding baby and getting her to sleep he’s washing up and cooking dinner. We’ve just been able to get a few hours back together in the evenings but I’m going to bed at 10pm because I’m so exhausted. I do all the night feeds and I’m with baby all day so it’s hard work. I also appreciate he works hard at his job and is tired too. But he just wants to playing Xbox or watching tv in the evenings and we just aren’t spending any time together. I feel bad that we haven’t had sex yet but there’s just been no good time to do it. I just feel like all we do is talk about baby and her routine and what’s next and we don’t make any time for each other. Is anyone else in the same boat or experienced this please? We are good at communicating but I don’t want to bring this up too much as it could ruin one of our precious evenings that we’ve just got back and I don’t want to go to bed upset or anything. It’s so tough but I thought we would be out of it by now…

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Hey lovely, I’m 5 months pp and feel like from about 4 months we started to get more like ourselves again, it takes a lot of effort from both sides, and some days we are still like room mates but it definitely does get better. If you have time in the evenings, Even just half hour for a cuddle or to talk about your day rather than just the baby it helps massively I found, and don’t worry about sex, it’ll come back when things are less hectic. And I felt guilty for ages because I felt so touched out after a full day of breastfeeding, but they will start to go longer between feeds and won’t need to be on you as much which I found massively helped as well. It will get better xxx

You could say that’s how me and my partner live now! When our daughter was born (now 5) I couldn’t stand the sight of my partner and was glad that he wanted to do was game and leave me alone. That went on for a fair few months until we had all settled down. We then made sure we had a “date night” which would be just simply a movie night. Sometimes I would fall asleep on the sofa but we were spending time together. We didn’t have sex until 6months after because I just wasn’t ready. Nowadays me and my partner are happy to just be sitting in the same room together doing different things. You will find your way through it, having a baby is a learning curve but so is finding your relationship again. Your communicating which is good much better than where I was. Try arranging a “date night” x

Sorry you're feeling this way. I really missed my partner after our son was born as we were so cuddly but then we couldn't cuddle as one of us had the baby! It was about 6 months for us that we started to feel like 'us' again and we've adjusted to reduced physical affection. I'm 8 months PP and we've only had sex twice! Give it time and I'm sure you'll find your new normal that you are happy with ❤️

I am 10 weeks pp and we only had sex once. Husband is blaming the baby as he just falls asleep later then my husband would like. He stopped any intimacy a month before the baby was born and we literally had nothing. I haven't seen him fully naked for like 3 months. I don't really know why and how to overcome this. I kept telling him I don't feel good as I don't feel needed at all and we had no cuddles as well, but exactly like your partner, he does everything and I appreciate him. I hate this stage though because I really like sex and feel like it builds the relationship. It makes me sad reading comments that it might get better 6 months pp 😪

@Ewa aww sorry to make you worry about the 6 months PP. We also had a significant bereavement 5 days PP by suicide which will have played a big part of how long it took for us ❤️❤️❤️I'm sure it won't be 6 months for you too xxx

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