STRUGGLING!!
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It's just a really tough age. I have a 4.5 year old, an almost three year old and a three month old. The toughest of all three is my two year old. The things I've found to be the most effective are proximity and touch (when I need her to do something), lots of praise, lots of love and validating of feelings. Two is considered one of the most challenging stages of life, as their brains are going through rapid growth emotionally, intellectually and socially. It can be so frustrating and challenging!!!
I'm so sorry. Toddlers ain't it. They're pure chaos. I have a 3.5 year old and a 3 month old. Here to second consistency. Consistency in expectations, routines, etc can be helpful in helping them know what to expect. That knowledge can help with some of the behaviors. Also, moments of attention that's just for them (reading, a quick puzzle, or an activity) can be helpful. Toddlers crave independence and attention; it's so hard.
I’m not an expert in children by any means but everything I’ve seen and read about the twos says pretty much the same thing. That testing boundaries is exactly what they should be doing. And “punishments” at this age really doesn’t do anything. Their brain is all about repetition. So consistent redirecting. Lots of praise for good things. And removing “the fun” or removing them from “the fun” if it’s behavior you don’t wanna see. So like if they keep messing with a curtain you would immediately say “no we don’t pull those” and physically remove them. And it will take a million or two times. Because they need to know that you will NEVER let them pull on them. And it has to be quick. They live in the moment. So if you wait, they’ve already moved on. It took a few weeks but so far it’s working with my daughter so that’s all I got 😅