Mat life lonely and boring ….

Please don’t get me wrong I love my LG, she’s now 7months. I longed for her, I prayed for her and she is wonderful. She’s healthy, cute super cheeky; not all that easy but I love her to pieces. BUT I find Mat life so lonely and lacking in purpose. There’s plenty of confounding things going on like my husband working 12h days everyday plus some weekends, so he’s never here. We’ve moved twice since my LG was born so I’m in a new place with not really any friends. I’m cultivating friendships but it takes time. We go to baby classes but mostly we go out walking everyday, maybe twice. We play, we sing, we grab coffee. We go to the beach ( we just emigrated somewhere hot… not rubbing that one in but it makes being outdoors so much more accessible). I’m still just lonely. I feel like my pre-baby life had purpose. Sure for the last 2 years that might have been get pregnant and have a baby. I find myself wishing I could do all these things that I can’t with a kid and I guess I miss my friends who would have shared in this life with me. Feel like I’m wasting this precious time with my daughter that I should be enjoying but I’m not.

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It sounds like you need a purpose again (separate from being a mum). This is really normal, and a lot of mums feel this way- it doesn't mean we love our babies any less! Is the plan for you to find work at some point? Or do you have hobbies you can reconnect with? Some of the loneliness I find is from not being able to talk about the things that drive me - eg writing. Mum friends I meet at groups and things are great, but sometimes I don't want to talk about babies all day 😅

My son is 7 weeks old and I’m still working. I would pray to have the time off. You’ll probably regret this when your back at work and time is flying and your baby is growing sooooo fast Have you got any of the moms numbers from groups so you can make new friends Try to enjoy it as it won’t be forever and you will miss it trust me x x I know it’s harder said than done but I would do anything to have some time off with my baby

I was feeling the same when I had my first. I was ready to go back to work after 6mo. I moved cities just before having my first and I didn’t drive at that time so I was relying on the little public transport around me and didn’t have too much friends around so I was feeling very lonely. By the time I went back to work that feeling of being “stuck” with a baby didn’t go away, don’t get me wrong. I love them with all that I have but i did miss my “freedom” in a way. As I talked to a therapy about it, he mentioned it’s very common for mums to feel like this often don’t want to open up as they are afraid they will be shamed by saying it Like someone mentioned it would be good for you to have some time on your own without baby. Is there a way you can get someone to babysit for a couple of ours? My second time being a mum we had someone coming for a couple of ours one day a week so I could have some time on my own (or sleep if I needed it) and it made all the difference this time.

We're all entitled to our feelings, I can align with some of what you're saying definitely as it's so hard to just have such a fixed responsibility constantly, similar to you my husband works pretty much all the time and I don't have much support or any free time and on the rare occasion I get it, after 2 hours I feel anxious and want to get back to him. My lb is 6 months in a few days. Warmer weather is definitely nice, enjoy.... Currently wearing scarf, hat and gloves!!!

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