I can't stand my son!

Idk i feel like you should delete this and go and get your son tested and maybe family therapy, respectfully of course (:

Oh my. This must be a lot for you. I have no advice, but please, feel free to let off momma steam. Rant. Just Let it out. Keeping it in doesn't also help either. There is always someone who can relate or give practical advice. Sending you hugs 🤗

I'm so sorry I don't have any advice or experience but one thing may help look up emotional regulation in his age group might give u a better understanding I'm sorry I have no idea what your going thru but it seems like he's not regulating emotions correctly I'm not totally sure I hope it helps some

Heart goes out to you. I get it. You do sound burnt out. We can say things we don’t truly mean when we get to this point out of frustration and kids seem to try and push you to that point sometimes. Just know that you’re not alone. We’re actually trying to get my 3 year old evaluated for autism so I definitely recommend it just to cover all bases. It’s ok to ask for help. Find ways to vent out all this frustration. When he’s testing limits always say no firmly, keeping firm on boundaries, let him throw his tantrums, when he goes to hit or push grab his arm gently and say no. When he starts screaming or yelling tell him you can see he’s upset or you understand xyz made you angry and that’s ok but it’s not ok to be mean or something along those lines. Review emotions everyday with him and ways to respond to them in a healthy way. At the end of the day, you have to teach him how to regulate his huge emotions, find consistency, because they are relying on us to guide them. 🫂 stay strong🫶🏼

I'd definitely seek therapy, you 100% sound burnt out and I empathise with you fully, being a mum is HARD. But a lot of your post reads as more than just burn out. Personally I think you need to read up about child development because his behaviour (at least from this post) while difficult, seems pretty normal for that age. They're figuring out the world and working out what they can and can't do, what boundaries to push, while battling BIG emotions that they have no idea what to do with. As the adult it's your job to help them navigate that, help them learn to regulate their emotions and deal with things in healthy, productive ways. The fact your whole day can be determined by one thing he does or says is the main thing that makes me suggest therapy. Even an adult having that much power over your emotions isn't good. You can't hold grudges, he's a young child. It's not personal. You have to learn how to ride the waves and let it wash over you. Take time to fill your own cup too!

Ok, imma say this plainly, but i mean no judgement at all, i just dont sugar coat shit, so I think u and ur child need professinal help, therapy and possibly get ur kid tested for Autisum . Sounds like behaviour regression. And ur irritation is probably being registered for him whitch will make his behaviour and freak outs worse , becuase hes 3 and doesnt seem to understand emotinal regulation even in the slightest yet . Which could be a developmental thing , hence getting him tested for Autisum. I also think you could benifit from therapy , to at least talk through ur frustrations. Once these things are underway and u start to see some improvemnets in his behaviiur, id sign him up for playdates or groups, to see if socializing him will help teach him better interaction skills.

You sound very overwhelmed and with the behaviour you're dealing with I can understand why. Being the middle child he may be picking up things off older siblings. My son is 3 the beginning of April and he can be a terror when my daughter is around because she winds him up. She's 11 years old and finds things funny when she irritates him. We've noticed he can be very selfish when she's been around him, he's very loud and aggressive with his tone.. he can just be hard work but that's something we are having to work with our 11 year old over. I suggest you speak to a professional and get a bit of help. Nothing wrong at all with doing that. You don't want to do or say anything you'd regret. Being a parent is difficult. It really isn't for the weak. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. And the dynamics change each child you have and you almost have to start from scratch again. Id definitely speak to a doctor about his behaviour because other things could be going on with him.

@AmberJ hi amber, we listen and don't judge. She's already in such a vulnerable space. Even if we don't agree with everything she's said. Your comment is cruel and unusual for the mental space that she's already in. It's not ok. It's hard enough being a mama. We don't know her full story or situation. You mention in your bio liking to help woman feel powerful.. but your lacking that compassion and empathy for this mama that needs help too. Idk you. But I AM 100% against bullying, cyber bullying, hate, of any kind. This needed to be addressed. This should be a safe space for everyone.

Nope! I totally get it! I don't have any advice as we are dealing with the same thing, I often like it's like dealing with a menopausal terrorist at times. Our son is now 5, and I think between him getting older, and he's currently in preschool, I think, has helped him, but also gave us a little separation, which helped both of us. Is he like this with dad, or grandma, or anyone else?

@Mia (MAMAMIA) well said 👏🏼

@Elle thanks mama! We're not perfect people just progressing. ♡

This sounds incredibly difficult and challenging. I can only imagine how exhausted and drained you might feel. It can be so hard trying to help a little being manage their emotions. I am sending you love, support, and strength. It sounds to me he’s got an attachment disorder , and if in fact he does, it is critical you seek help for yourself and your son from a developmental psychologist. You need to understand the root issue in order to help him and help yourself to create a peaceful and positive upbringing, household, and motherhood experience. Please please please, remember he is 3 years old. He is neurologically incapable of reasoning and emotional regulation. It is your job to provide this to him and without understanding what could be going on with him and how to manage it, I do not see things changing. This might be a wonderful opportunity to learn more about yourself too 🙏🏽❤️

No matter what he says to you, remember that more than anything in this world, he needs your love, patience, and understanding. This is his chance to be set up to be a healthy, happy adult who is able to have meaningful relationships. And they all start with you, his amazing mother. 🙏🏽 A professional can help you both start somewhere manageable, to find answers, and to see and be guided to a light.

Sounds like a normal 3 year old not trying to normalize it but he does that because you have allowed it- speaking because I go through similar things with my 3 year old and what you are feeling is burn out! I would def suggest getting more routines which has helped me and finding more moment to validate and listen to his feeling!

Amberj must have everything going perfect for her 🫠🫠😑

Also if you think even for one minute you may lose control of yourself and the safety of your boy or anyone else could be in danger, put him In someone else’s care until things are more manageable and a plan of action for change has been put in place .

@Katie this is great advice ♡

There’s a lot to this so will just make a couple of little points: Parenting is hard and it sounds like you’re feeling really burnt out and drained. Your son’s behaviour is impacting you so much because you’re so drained. I would definitely seek some support - both counselling but also some ‘me time’ where you get a break from the kids to do something you enjoy. I know it can feel impossible to find time for those things but it’s so important to give you coping capacity, so please prioritise it. I know his outburst are really hard but they are also really normal. My son tells me to go away sometimes but would get upset if I really did. He just doesn’t understand his own emotions. It’s our job to stick around and help them regulate. (Stand up and move away if you’re getting hurt, but stick around to help him calm down when he’s ready). If you’re having a hard time with his emotions, try to remind yourself that HE is having a hard time too.

Also, on the early wake ups. He may have had a drop in sleep needs and just need less sleep overall. Maybe worth a later bed time to push things back a bit so he’s waking later again? It sounds like the early morning is your ‘me time’ so unfortunately you’re setting you both up to fail by resenting him the second he wakes up as he’s interrupting your time. Either try to shift his sleeping pattern or you’ll need to come to terms with the fact that the early morning isn’t ‘you time’ but is time for you and him to connect without the other kids around.

I think you need a break but also I think you need to set boundaries and be firm when needed otherwise you’re going to get walked over and get stressed with it. My youngest son is also 3 this weekend and he’s autistic routine is so important for me to keep with him or he can go into meltdown mode

This does remind me a little of my nephew who is on the spectrum. He’s super sensitive to food choices and such. I know they’ve been able to implement some changes that help him. There may be ways to ease this challenge. I hope you can look into it.

Doesn’t sound like autism at all, sounds like the third child of a passive burnt out mum. I think you need help in the home to help you be a better parent. I’m not saying you’re a bad mum at all but when we are pushed to our limits like this we are never our best selves and your child is reacting to that. The behaviour sounds normal for that age but made worse or more exaggerated by how you’re feeling. Is dad around? Does your son go to nursery etc? Do you have a support system around you that could help at all? When he has angry emotional outbursts, you need to double down and tell him you love him and ask if he’s feeling sad/angry. Then cuddle him. Walking away so he has to flip it and come to you is going to create an abandonment issue On another note please reconsider giving him marshmallows ever, they are a super super super choking hazard and often will not respond to the Heimlich manoeuvre and get lodged in airways because of their shape and texture.

First thing I’ll say, I 100% understand how you feel! You are not alone! My son had out bursts at this age and his poor sister received all of it. ( she was bitten, scratched, hit or even had her hair ripped out by handfuls! ) Boys at this age are just learning how to regulate their emotions and bodies. They don’t understand their own strength sometimes. This too shall pass if you help him through this difficult time. Second thing I will say, it’s okay to have big feelings. However, it’s important to calm down 100% before taking action. No one can have good results if they take action from a negative mindset. Last thing I will say is, if I were you, I’d find some mindfulness exercises. First you do it with him alone and once he likes doing them, include your other kids. This helps all of you find the calmness I was talking about. This also teaches your kids how to self regulate. I hope this helps! You Got This!

@Mia (MAMAMIA) if I'm posting, I'm looking for criticism. I'm posting incognito because I want cold, hard judgment. I do appreciate your intentions; however, I'm isolated and need perspective. I don't want to be coddled. It's actually something I didn't like about therapy: too much listening to me not enough judgement and advice. I'm tired of the sound of my own voice lol

Nice, while that's very fitting now that you've shared that perspective. Other moms maybe more sensitive or in a more fragile state of mind to handle such criticism. So it's crucial to be more careful with our words.

The importance of this is finding a solution not casting judgement. Changes need to be made immediately for the enrichment of your life and your child. Blessings to you on your journey.