I don't know who I am sometimes...

Hello everyone, I am so very sorry that we are all part of this group. A little back story on me - I lost my son at 33 weeks in 2022, had a living daughter in 2023 and have just brought home my newborn daughter a few days ago. My pregnancy 'journey' is officially complete - no more babies after this as quite frankly pregnancy after loss has been really difficult. In these baby bubble days, there has been a lot of reflection on the 'journey' (personally hate this word, but lack a better term). And I've realised that I still don't really know who I am. Am I a mum of 3 or a mum of 2? I mean, I AM a mum to 3 babies but can I claim that title? Am I a boy mum? I mean, I had a boy but I've never raised a boy and will likely never experience raising a boy. I think completing my family has been bittersweet. I've always wanted 3 children; I had three children, but I will never raise 3 children. I always wanted my eldest to be a boy, and my firstborn was a boy but he will never be old. I just wanted to reach out to other loss parents - does anyone relate to what I am saying? How do you see yourself? I think I just feel sad in the midst of my newborn bubble happiness. A lot of memories and what ifs.