Help/ advice please

So the guy I am talking to/ seeing asked me to be his girlfriend today and I said no. The only reason being is that I don’t think he has any qualities that scream to me partner worthy and I tried to let him down in the nicest way possible and he just got upset. And said "so I’m good enough to have sex with but not to be with" and I didn’t know how to respond. I’ve known him since my second year of uni so like three years ago and we started dating December time. He has poor communication skills, he gets easily irritated he’s always asking me to do stuff for him and asking to come to mine for food and to wash his stuff but I never agree. My home is mine and my children’s own space. I wouldn’t mind but he’s never even taken me out on HIS initiative like we went to get food in a restaurant and he made me pay for it! After ordering a £35 seafood tray like 😵‍💫 he paid me back but come on like since my bd I just have better expectations and he doesn’t meet them so now I know I probably should just make it known like we should stop seeing each other or at least what I expect. But I will say that I have told him this before and he still didn’t change. Or put in effort should I just leave it and break it off now

Show your support

Yeah he doesn’t sound like an ideal partner. Just be honest with him. But honestly why waste your time on him anymore if you don’t see it going anywhere?

Honestly, sounds like you're dodging a bullet

If you don't see it going anywhere, why are you stringing him along?

Just be honest with him and if I’m honest I’d cut ties with him. No point stringing him a long if you see no future.

I think if you were clear on what you wanted before having sex with him then he probably wouldn’t feel the same as you’d have stated you’re looking for a mature partner that will always be there for you and you could have told him your wants in a relationship. Having sex and then saying he’s not got qualities that are partner worthy then of course he’s going to feel that way as he obviously does want more. And if he hasn’t changed then respectfully break it off and say it’s not what you’re looking for.

Im not intentionally stringing him along because initially I told him I didn’t want anything serious/ long term as I am rediscovering myself, my teens and early twenties I was in a long term relationship. Which he KNOWS! But we had become closer as friends especially 2023 Dec- Feb 2024 because my relationship was very rocky and in last stages of second pregnancy so he was someone I was very close to and then last year we decided to be casual partners that do couple like stuff but exclusively us two without the titles (just more bad decisions it seems but made sense at the time).

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