Advice for toilet training

We are very much similar to you in our approach, if he has an accident, we say it's okay, but we should be using the potty or toilet and not going in our pants and tell him to try and remember next time. And make sure to overly praise when he gets its right. Like you said, if you start saying you'll take things away from him, it becomes a negative thing and it will likely make it harder for him, or if he does have an accident, he'll try and hide it from you which will make it worse as well! It can be frustrating for everyone involved though, me and my husband definitely had a couple of arguments about it 🤣 Good luck 💕

@Lauren oh God the arguments 🙈 I try not to get involved but sometimes I hear what he's saying to our son and I'm like seriously?? He keeps saying this needs to be a quick process, we can't let it drag on, I'm trying to explain we don't really have control over that? He'll do it when he's ready. It's so difficult. My son did a poo on the floor and was upset about it. Husband came home much later and brought it up again saying why did you do that on the floor? I'm like surely you can see that he's embarrassed and you're making a big deal of this? He's trying to learn. I feel bad for my son😢

Never tell them off for having accidents, it’s how they learn! Oh I’ve wet in my pants that’s not comfortable next time il go to the toilet! Where possible when they have an accident I try to encourage them sorting out themselves (wee) they can change pants/trousers etc then they realise actually il just go to the toilet this is hassle 😂 poo is obviously more tricky but still getting them to put the clothes in the wash etc! Maybe phrase it to your husband like when you were learning to write/rode a bike etc if someone kept telling you off for doing it wrong how would you feel? Would you feel motivated to try again if people kept embarrassing you about your accidents?

Awwh yeah bless him, it's not always quick for everyone! We only started a couple of weeks ago, but my son still hasn't got the hang of poos on the potty yet either. Especially if you've got a physical disability in the mix as well, I think he needs to lower his expectations a bit and just go at your sons pace. The more stressful it is for him, the longer it will take! And yeah, making him embarrassed isn't going to help 😢 I'd be starting another argument if I were you 🤣

@Laura thank you! That's the exact example I used about riding a bike, you wouldn't say oh you don't get to play on your bike again since you fell off! I think he's just frustrated but honestly it's so difficult, he's just got a really weird approach to a lot of things, I try to explain that I've read up on things and this is what the guidance says but he thinks he knows best 🙄

@Lauren thank you ❤️ yeah I can feel one brewing 😂

We are struggling big time with maxi! He’ll go on The toilet everywhere but at home! I’ve spoken to doctors and health visitors I’ve tried all approaches and spoke to so many people to ask their advice! GP and HV both think it’s behavioural/control linked to his autism but it’s tough I’ve trained 100s of kids working in childcare and he’s broken me!have you given husband links to Eric site? Loads of info on there

@Laura that sounds so hard! What do they advise you do when it's a behavioural thing? I'm sure he'll get there ❤️ we're really struggling too, he just doesn't seem to have the awareness, I'm not sure he can feel that he needs or when he's wet, need to chat with his paedeatrician again about it. No I actually haven't sent him those links but that's a good idea, thank you

It might be worth seeing if you can get a referral to the continence team! It’s really hard we’ve taken the pressure of at home and that seems to have helped we think like everything else he’s going to do it in his own time in his own way 🤷‍♀️

@Laura yeah that's a good idea, the HV mentioned that so will need to follow it up. Good luck with your little boy!