Vulnerable post *** not going incognito

I know it can be scary to start over. But do you really want your daughter to grow up thinking it’s okay for her future partner to speak to her that way? BUT - you have a very valid point about not wanting him to have her on his own. Do you have evidence of his behaviour? Can you take your time to build a case against him to best ensure your daughter is safe?

And I’m really sorry you’re going through this

I second what Elizabeth said. Even if not for yourself at the moment if I would do it for my child. You are her model. If you can have evidence of violence it can help. Unless it’s directed at her it won’t necessarily stop him from getting visits but it could help the case for supervised visits or no overnights etc

Just think about your daughter - do you honestly want her to witness his behaviour towards you? She’ll then grow up thinking that’s the acceptable way to be treated. Domestic violence is neglect to children, they are affected way more than people realise. Please re-think what you are saying, and leave. You have the perfect opportunity to start over and with your family supporting you.

Pls leave him… I just checked your profile and you’re so beautiful to be going through all this . A man out there is deffo waiting for you and will treat you better

Girl you better RUN ! The main focus is you & your daughters safety first ! Of course it won’t be easy going your separate ways but love & value yourself first !! It took me 5 years to get out of an abusive relationship it will never get better even if you have those small periods of good ! You are beautiful there’s someone out there willing to treat you with RESPECT!! & As far as him seeing her trying co parenting with boundaries!

i’m just posting this comment to put the information out here as someone who has completed psychology studies in adolescent development 🙋🏼‍♀️ can take or leave what is said 🤗 The first five years of a child’s life are the most critical for psychological development because this period lays the foundation for cognitive abilities, emotional regulation, personality, and social skills. Piaget (Cognitive Development) Children learn through exploration. Parental conflict can create stress, making it harder for them to focus and develop problem-solving skills. Vygotsky (Sociocultural Theory) Learning happens through social interaction. A strained parental relationship may limit engagement, affecting language and cognitive growth. Bowlby (Attachment Theory) Secure attachment is key for emotional regulation. Conflict between parents can lead to insecure attachment, making the child anxious or emotionally unstable.

Erikson (Psychosocial Development) Early stages shape confidence and trust. Parental conflict can cause self-doubt, guilt, and difficulty forming healthy relationships. Freud (Psychosexual Development) Early experiences shape personality. High tension at home may lead to anxiety or behavioral fixations later in life. Bandura (Social Learning Theory) Children mimic behaviors they observe. Witnessing conflict may lead to aggression or poor conflict resolution skills. Baumrind (Parenting Styles) Parenting style affects personality. Conflict can result in inconsistent parenting, leading to low self-esteem and emotional instability.

Reach out to me please

Don’t worry about starting over , in due time I’m sure it’ll just happen , your daughter is your priority. Protect her at all cost . RUN !!

Girl starting over is so beautiful. I moved out from my child father and it was the best thing for my daughter and I. My daughter happier because I’m happier. She loves her dad he gets her Sundays and they spend the day together about 10 hrs. She enjoys her time with him. My baby is 8 months. As far as dating your going to date totally different then before because your dating with your daughter in mind so your expectations will be high. And it won’t be someone screaming Fuck you(Un expectable). Remember the baby is watching and subconsciously they are taking it all in. Have patience with yourself and him. Separation helps brings clarity to both parties. Best of luck❤️

I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I know no one wants to start over and the unknown can be scary , but it sounds like you have tried to make this situation work and now it’s time to move on. Recognize the blessing in having your mom and step dad’s support to go back home. There is beauty in starting over. Embrace it.

Starting over and rediscovering yourself is incredibly beneficial. Remember, everything you do, your child will see. They will observe how you speak to yourself and how you allow others to treat you. It’s important to model the message that self-respect and kindness are essential.

i’m in a very very similar situation. my boyfriend and i have been on and off since 2020 but we’ve been consistently together for about 2 years now. found out a couple weeks ago that he’s cheating on me and lusting over other woman online (throughout our entire relationship) he has a porn addiction. i also found out that he’s married (he claims green card marriage in exchange for money) the point is i should take my son and leave but im also scared to co-parent, and be without my son because i have never been without him. his family is also crazy. my boyfriend also isn’t the best father so i dont feel comfortable having my son go with him alone. he has done things to me before and i have stayed or kept going back. and this time i still haven’t left. leaving is so hard and staying is so hard. you’re not alone. i’m so sorry you’re going though this. you can reach out to me if you need!🫶

Oh goodness. Him shouting at you and disrespecting you that way is not on at all. Do you have proof of this? The questions I’d sit and ask myself is. Do I want my child to grow up listening to their parents fighting one minute and then nice the next? No. Would I want to see daddy saying nasty stuff to mummy? No. Can this be trauma for a young child yes. You have a safe space to go to with your mum and her partner I’d definitely take it. People like him and the situation isn’t going to change, no matter how he says it is. So you can either long it out and make your daughter see his attitude get worse? Or leave with her and go to somewhere else that’s safe,

Sent u a pm

I was in a situation like this last year I decided to leave him even though I knew shit would get worse!!.... And it did. I got 3 protection orders on his ass. Went to court cause he harassed me from diff phone numbers we have a 1 yr old son together but I have four kids total I didn't want my kids being scared of him and witnessing his anger and range. I got angry 1 night called police in him cause he tried put hands on me..... His anger led to him being arrested and locked up was the end of my relationship but he still sees his son and abides by judges order. He great father though just a bad lover.

I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this. I recently asked my husband of 7 years for a divorce for this very reason. I was tired of being talked to like that and I didn’t want my girls to grow up thinking that was okay. It’s hard I’m not going to like but I’m only 3 months in and even though it has been PPOs, court and rough nights without my girls it’s what is best for me and my girls. The weight that is lifted off of you once you don’t have that type of energy around you all the time is unmatched. I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide.