Help me understand my partner’s side

Wow I would feel sad as well. Ofcourse u would think he has felt love with you. He sounds like he’s numb. Smh. Does he ever say I love you ?

Your feelings are justified. I think he might just be saying things without thinking.

Your feelings are valid. I’d be concerned that’s a big red flag. Even if he’s not in love with you (which would be painful) he’s never felt love or what it’s like to be in love? Red flag. 🚩 dude on the show asking to understand his partners idea of love better is one thing. To not have an answer at all makes me wonder if he has something going on under the service that doesn’t allow him to feel that emotion. Especially, if he thinks showing an emotion at all like you did is you taking it personal. I’d absolutely take it personally if the person I was with for 5 years didn’t know what love was!

Thank you girls ❤️ I just can’t see his side.. if I said something that genuinely hurt him, and didn’t scream or say anything rude but he looked sad and told me why I can’t understand how someone can get mad at that? So in his world I was supposed to say “oh interesting” and have a deep conversation about love? I just felt it was an insult towards me and our relationship.. I guess I also take it especially personal because I would have loved to get married and he has told me from the start he doesn’t want to get married in life.. and fair enough I knew that. But seeing “all” my friends getting proposals, getting told by new boyfriends how they can’t wait to marry them or never felt this way etc.. I feel like it hurts a lot to get that statement on top of no marriage.. it made me feel not special at all.. 😔

And I tried to explain it like it’s almost like me saying “how is it to have a great partner? I don’t know how that is so can you explain?” first he said that then he could have said some examples of things he has done for me over the years and so on and I said “but wouldn’t it feel like an insult if I said I don’t know how it feels to have a great partner?” that’s when he got up and also threw the “keep drinking your wine” at me and just left.. it’s not like I’m drunk, I’m having wine for dinner.. and I just don’t understand how he can say things like that? That feels like he’s trying to hurt me on purpose.. for what, because I’m upset about something he said? It just doesn’t make sense to me.. and it’s not the first time I just don’t understand the argument at all.. how could I have done it differently? Pretended I was fine? Or just been someone else?

And sorry for the rant.. but what now? I’m sure he feels like I owe him an apology or something.. but it’s hard for me to understand what I have done wrong. I feel like I have good intentions, I put my best foot forward, I don’t raise my voice and I don’t say things below the belt like “keep drinking your wine” and things like that. And I often try to understand the other side, but I feel like I don’t really know where to go from here.. what would you girls do? Do I have to be the one to reach out and what do I say? - we do live together with our child and we are away on a 6 month business trip (his thing) so I have no one here to go to or talk to physically. So need to sort this asap.. maybe seem stupid questions but don’t want to involve my friends or family.. ❤️

You didn’t do anything wrong. He’s trying to spin it all back on you and play victim which is another red flag. You may want to think about leaving. He’s not a great partner and you could still go get what you want which is to get married with someone who treats you correctly and actually cares about you.

You don’t owe him anything for feeling the way you do. Everyone deserves to feel loved and you can’t blame yourself for wanting that and wanting to know. He seems closed off and maybe unable to communicate, how can someone not know what love is? And if he doesn’t did he confuse love with lust? . Someone that loves you cares about how you feel small or big things as I’m sure you wouldn’t invalidate how he feels so why he do it to you?. Love isn’t just a feeling but a choice because love isn’t always constant in my opinion. The first thing I would have thought is ‘why is he with me if he doesn’t even know if he loves me when he doesn’t even know what love is’ you should be able to talk about deep things even if you get sad because it means it has meaning to you. Not at all your fault.

But why choose to say that instead of saying “I know what love is and I have it right here in front of me” make you swoon or something instead of causing unnecessary harm that he knows will upset you. Getting annoyed at you for it is absolutely mind boggling. He hurt you and that’s his reaction? Did he ever give you an explanation of why he said what he did? Because he needs to. I would be so upset if my partner said the same thing to me. It’s also unfair how he dumped the problem on you. It’s not your fault at all. He made an unnecessary and ugly statement. Hurt people hurt people.

Is he autistic? Social awkward or some kind of sheltered gamer or just average looking guy with great income? Is he like from a different religion or is Conservativeand the baby was oopsand then u got married and it's what his parents wanted..i don't get it.. there not a lot info or how you guys* love each other, is it verbal, sexual, physical...or after kid you're roommates. He doesn’t seem like he's in love therefore he saying this. He went along, he's a jerk for gaslighting you . I think you know what the problem is ajd why he like this . And if he's not in love or never says it... or if he never felt it or if he's a great actor . He's definitely not the one for you . He's like a robot and ur opposite . Or he was always like this. Blah person and not a trick

Oo I think I read something, I thought he wanted to get married and have family.. but no he never wanted this. Is there an age gap or you guys like 22 or something? This sounds like an oops baby. Guys that don't want marriage usually don't really care for a baby...or they want the baby with no responsibility for marriage. Did you all fight and scream before because ppl usually don't say, I have good intentions.. did you all have bad time and bad struggles before? He seems dead inside, passing time, he's definitely a boy

I feel like anyone’s feelings would be hurt in this situation :( I’m sorry he said something like this and I’m sorry that was his reaction. Him being annoyed and leaving shows he can’t talk about deep feelings without getting upset that you’re expressing those feelings like a human. Of course you’re gonna take things personally it’s a deep and personal conversation with you partner?? I don’t think it’s your fault at all. Especially if you weren’t screaming and crying like how can he be upset about that?