Am I terrible?

Ever since I got pregnant I’ve been kinda of unhappy about it. I want to be happy so bad but my fiance and I are really struggling living pay check to pay check with my mom. My mom constantly calls us stupid or idiots and she thinks it’s funny but it’s just a lot and she constantly nags about how “ dirty” we are when she cleans like once a month. But anyway. I’ve been feeling like this whole thing has been a mistake and that brings so much guilt onto me I feel like the world’s worst person saying that. I just feel like everything crumbling underneath me. I thought maybe if it was a girl it would help me be less sad because I have a boy already he 11 months and I just wanted two kids and to be done because pregnancy for me was the worst. I found out today it’s a boy and I’m so disappointed and upset I can’t stop crying. I already felt like i messed up by bringing a baby into this house when we aren’t even stable but now it’s a boy and yes financially it’s a good thing but I’m so sad. I just wanted a girl and a boy and to be done. Now I have to be pregnant again in my life later because I do really want a baby girl but am I a terrible person for Feeling like I mad a huge mistake….