MIL Drama

How come she’s so desperate for a boy? I’d tell her and if she started treating my daughter differently she’d be out my life

Tell her, following with; if you continue to treat me or my daughter like shit in any form you Will not have the PRIVILEGE or being around my children what so ever.

What are the reasons for wanting it to be a boy?.. maybe as she had sons or is it more like an Indian or Middle Eastern thing where boys are more desired over girls? Either way you are lucky to have both x congrats 🩵

My dad's dad treated my brother better than me as babies. He would bring him presents but not me, because I was a girl. My mum banned him from seeing either of the children until he was ready to treat us equally. She said he didn't see us for a year until he gave in.

I'd keep the gender a secret and just say we are not finding out until the birth so she won't try and badger your partner for the gender and just say we don't know what it is but I would also get your partner to talk to her about why a boy is Soo important and why she doesn't want /like girls because you can just see her treating the boy better then your daughter which would cause issues for her when she's older makes no sense for me because girls can like boy stuff and vise versa

@Laura @E.P because my husband is her only kid. So she had one boy and in her mind “boys are easier”. Idk. There’s not a real reason. She already treats my daughter like she’s her kid which pisses me off so I feel like a boy would trigger that even more

lol oh for she sounds so shit I’m sorry your dealing with that

I’m confused. So she treats your daughter well? So then there’s no issues with her treating your daughter differently if she already treats her like she’s her own kid.

@Nina did you read the whole thing?

Involve your husband. Ask him to deal with all this. Tell him how uncomfortable and stressed you are which you shouldn’t be since pregnancy is already hard. Tell him if you see anyone treating your girl differently you’re gonna ban them from seeing your so as well. If this doesn’t work just then treat your girl very very special also Ask your husband to treat your baby girl superiorly infront of your mil. And then eventually stop thinking about what she does.

@bakhtawer he’s too afraid to stand up to her which is the other half of the issue

Then it’s time to fight with him. Dm me

Two thoughts Where are you from? Baby shower for a second child??? Whaaa? I thought you only got one. My family would NOT live for me having another lol. Why do they want a boy? Is it a cultural thing. I feel like my family is the opposite. They totally treat the girls with preference.

@Rachelle baby showers for a second isn’t uncommon especially if it’s a different sex from your first. It’s really just a reason to celebrate with family

Cool. Like I said my family would not have it. I introduced my mom to the idea of a sprinkle and she was not having it either. Id keep the sex a secret though. You shouldn't have to though.

My personal thoughts are she is obviously going to find out the gender at some point it may as well be now so that she can process and prepare rather than be some psycho trying to get to the baby when he’s born from the excitement of finding out then. Also if she’s going to mistreat your daughter (which as @Nina said doesn’t sound quite right if she currently treats your daughter as her own) then you know in advance that she will not be meeting your son and that can be the end of it. She sounds horrid and I get wanting to protect your daughter of course, but something tells me she’s not going to be as bad as you think she is and if she’s is then she has made her own bed going forward! Also - embarrassing work from your husband, he needs to put his foot down on any kind of bullying behaviour towards you and his daughter!

@Rachelle totally common to have a baby shower for every child you have here in the UK at least! I’m not sure I will this time though as frankly I cba and my last one cost too much, though I wouldn’t mind a few gifts as I’m having a girl this time and boy last time so there’s only so many clothes I can reuse 😂

@Lor my husband and I have been concerned about her behavior since before my daughter was born because she was upset that it was a girl and after she was born she made ridiculous comments about wishing she was a boy. I honestly feel like one of the bigger issues is my husband being unable to stand up to his mom. Which is also largely her fault because she doesn’t respect either of us, so really anything we say is never going to be taken seriously. She’s always going to find a way to blame me for it. Ideally I think we shouldn’t have her in our lives at all or at least until the behavior changes (which it likely won’t) but my husband doesn’t agree with cutting her off. It’s kind of this endless cycle of I get blamed for everything, he never says anything, and she gets away with her behavior

My MIL has actually said similar things she reeeally celebrated at our gender reveal when we announced my son and absolutely treats my son better than his female cousins (and treats my man slightly better than his sisters too!) so i’m fully expecting her to not be as all over my daughter but equally i’m not in any way expecting her to MIStreat her, that would be wild! I just took it as a cultural/old fashioned view of boys being better and also she’s a windup so most of the time I think she’s joking. Men are so weird with their mums they often feel they can do no wrong especially if their mums are single mums as they are the mother and father figure in their life and really seem to dominate them! Is moving out before June possible? We live with my FIL to save money so get it’s easier said than done! I’d tell her so she can get used to it and you can monitor the situation and come up with a plan in response for when your son arrives

@Lor i just feel like she spoils my daughter so much now and when a boy comes she’ll see him as her own son part 2 and basically my daughter will get forgotten and left out. You definitely nailed it. She was a single mom so I do get why he is the way he is but it’s so frustrating too. Definitely aiming for therapy so that he can hear it from someone else that this behavior doesn’t need to be tolerated. I wish we could. June is honestly already tentative but I’m determined to be moved out at a minimum before this baby is born.

Girl once ya’ll move out of her house I would cut her off. She sounds like a weirdo.

Hopefully the fact she spoils your daughter she has enough affection for her to not do that! She’ll regret it if she does! Also don’t forget your daughter has you and it looks like you already give her all the love she could need! Good luck with that I think it takes years to unpick all the manipulation and dependency that would have been built up but he has to be strong and the rock for you guys! It’ll be okay 💗

I’m 26 weeks pregnant and honestly I’ve kept my pregnancy from almost everybody! The only people that know that aren’t my husband and I are our parents and siblings that’s it. Only my parents and my siblings know the gender till I decide to announce it late March/ early April. I give birth in May

I think if u don't tell her now when ur son is born she will put him on a pedestal even more because she was expecting a girl and tbh if she does treat them different I would seriously think off cutting her off because is not fair on ur little girl to feel that grandma doesn't love her as much as her brother and be wondering wat she did wrong

I mean he will be a boy now and when he is born so I would rip the bandaid earlier so you don't have to deal with it fresh when you've just given birth. She might even think you kept it a surprise for her lol

I would tell everyone except her, including pets and neighbours before her dumb ass