I just cant do it anymore 😭

Here’s the thing, Go with your son flow, but tell his brother the real deal later on. You have to flow with his diagnosis not go against it. It’s already hard on him enough that he is dealing with a lot of it and for the rest of his life. Try to take it easy and see the world from his view. Invite yourself in. In the meantime seek guidance, help and professionals that are experts in this and can give you resources and teach you resources to deal with an intelligent cool rockstar!

I have 12 daughter with autism and other needs and she just recently started saying I hate you when she gets in mood and stomp off. I know what you mean it's hard and more challenging when there growing up. My daughter was alot easier when she was little.

If he is 18, he can live in a supported living place, it might make him happier too

He’s gotta find ways to satisfy his desire for independence and control that doesn’t involve controlling other people. Here’s what I would do in reaction to this incident if I were you: I would banish Monopoly from our household. I would replace it with paper trading /stock simulator app, and get the whole family to play it - everyone picks their own strategy and a “win” for them doesn’t require other family to lose. Make sure to tell him it’s not illegal for his brother to “copy”‘his strategies. If that happens and he complains, tell him that’s the real point of the game. There are some pretty famous investors/tradeds like Michael Burry (confirmed Asperger’s diagnosis), Jim Simons, Jesse Livermore, and John Paulson who have achieved some of the highest returns in history. None of them came from money. They had to convince people to invest in them, so copying is a good indicator that you are winning. It might be fun to watch “the Big Short” (2015) as a family. Good luck!

I think pda autism and a burnout might be at play here. I would talk to your husband about how you feel and tell him you want to really do this as a team and support eachother as you are having an especially hard time right now. When one parent feels the overwhelm the other one can step in. Some moments can be ignored in my opinion and from personal research.. like each thing doesn't need to be addressed of the family is in burnout right now because it's an added pressure. Meltdowns will happen but they can happen a ton less often I promise. It takes time as well. They need to feel like you are on their side as often as possible or in subtle ways that they are equal or above you (which I know sucks) but it helps them stay regulated. Eventually you can pick your battles and some will end more calmly than at first. Basically with pda autism you are always either activating or accommodating. Always. So each moment is like okay can I deal w this now calmly no matter their reaction or am I going to let it go..

.. sometimes I'll tell my daughter "hey I'm feeling really upset right now and I'm going to walk away and collect myself" and sort of show her, I'm collecting my own emotions and not dealing w yours right now.. idk why precisely but it helps her defuse as well. Space and like me being vulnerable maybe. They know right from wrong usually especially as they get older. It's just really hard ( especially during a burnout ) to connect to the logical part of their brain. It helps as a parent to think to yourself this is a nervous system disability. It's not a choice. It's not personal. Which I'm sure you've learned that by now. Burnout can heighten emotions and make you feel like walking on eggshells and I know it's horrible 😞 I believe it can get better tho truly 🙏 I've spent about a year helping my daughter and myself and we have had such improvements. I'm sorry things are so bad right now. Try to look after yourself if you can 🩷