somebody pls fucking help

I saw a tik tok that helped us and it basically said the toddler stage is so hard because we constantly have to tell them no, so make your house a "yes" house. To do that you have to ultra baby proof everything so that anything they touch or do is okay. For instance if I have to stop my son from going up the stairs or opening a cabinet it's a battle but if the baby gate or locks stop him then he'll shake it a few times to test it and then move on. I keep everything out of sight that I don't want him to have like markers are fine sometimes but not all time and if he sees them he'll want to color but I might be able to supervise at that moment so it's a meltdown but if I just bring them out when I do have time then it goes smoothly. I'm sorry this stage is so hard ☹️ I know this advise won't magic fix things but I hope it helps a little

@Cassie i rent a room in an okder ladys house. she has expensive and old furniture. yesterday he was messing with the stool in the kitchen and it fell. now everytime were downstairs im cooking he wants to push it down or crawl in the dishwasher and she has these china sets in there. he gets his banana hands all over her towels. i always put them up on the counter. but she always puts them back on the cabinet doors.

Do you have a Montessori toddler tower? He just wants to do what you’re doing. Give him activities he’s allowed to do. They’re like dogs, you constantly have to engage with them and give them stimulating environments. Maybe he needs a day at the library or a play area that is safe for him. You need to meet him in his world and don’t expect him to behave in your adult world. Your expectations are too high for a toddler

@Maya no i dont have that. do u mind donating one to me? do u mind ordering me a nanny also to engage with him since im so busy doing everything else and still behind on bills? my standards arent high for him. im just trying to teach him what NO AND STOP means. he can literally understand me. he can talk and say words already and repeats me.

Oh shoot, that's hard. I'm so stressed the whole time I go to my parents or someone's house who doesn't have kids because I'm scared he's going to break something, I don't think I could ever make a meal or get done what I need to with a bunch of expensive breakable stuff all around. I guess I don't really have any advice then because his behavior is totally normal, toddlers learn by pushing boundaries and seeing what kind of a reaction their behavior gets. It's not like he's a bad kid, it's just a bad situation if she's not making the house more kid friendly

If you can’t baby proof because you are renting, try creating “safe zones”. We have a pack n play that my daughter plays in while I’m cooking because our downstairs isn’t super baby proofed, but then upstairs we have a den that’s baby proofed for her to have complete freedom in. Also. Redirect, redirect, redirect. He might actually be modeling his scream after you yelling at him, so he thinks it’s okay to yell. I know it can be frustrating in the moment, but instead of yelling give him something he CAN do. “You can’t play with the stool, but you can play with this spatula and bowl.” Give him an alternative. You’d be surprised the kinds of kitchen things that will keep my daughter busy while I cook.

Also. Remember that you are the one in control of the situation. If my daughter is excitedly hitting the cat, we correct her and model being gentle. If she continues to hit the cat, we remove the cat from the room. If she can’t be gentle, she can’t pet the cat. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know it’s difficult but yelling at them doesn’t help it just models the behavior. I would try setting up some crafts to help stimulate him, doesn’t have to be expensive the dollar tree has lots of supplies. I’ve also found that sometimes my son does better learning concepts if he can have videos to watch that emulate that. So if I have something I’m trying to teach him I’ll find a kid friendly video (sesame kids episode, veggie tales, etc. and put it on)

Just because youre trying to teach him no and stop doesn’t mean he is comprehending what you’re saying. If he understood, you wouldn’t be yelling “all fucking day” You can find Montessori towers of FB Marketplace. Try giving him a bowl of water to play with on a towel or age appropriate activities that you don’t have to say no to while you’re cooking. Or create safe spaces like someone else suggested (playpen, baby gates, toddler tower, etc.) good luck

@Darien yesss the spatula and bowl trick!! They want activities that look similar to ours. I usually toss something weird in there for him to bat around and “cook”. I put a piece of play food and an oven mitt in his designated metal cooking bowl yesterday with his wooden spatula and he literally played with it for 20 minutes. Sat outside the kitchen gate and talked to his bowl.

Also we can’t just tell them no, we have to show them what to do instead. With babies it’s just A LOT of reputation. If you show aggression towards him it will escalate want aggression he shows you.

You communicate to him by yelling so he is learning that it is the way things are done. Instead tell him in a calm lower but serious voice that there is no yelling and definitely no hitting. Then have him face the wall for however long they are old (mine is three years old so she goes for 3 minutes) if she is screaming and crying she doesn’t get out. I agree somewhat with Maya on engaging them but I disagree that you can’t have higher expectations for a toddler. My three year old can help set the table (no breakables) , sort laundry, collect clothes, clean up their toys, make a salad or sandwich, and dust. They can help as long as you are not expecting perfection.

@Maya a bowl of fucking water are u serious maya.

Yes my son plays with a bowl of water and a scoop for 15-20 mins while I make lunch. I put rubber duckies in and he loves in. I just have to wipe up the water after he’s done. It’s called sensory play. There’s lots of other kinds online you can search. Pretty simple and entertaining for them.

Or picking up ice cubes with kitchen tongs. Helps develop motor skills, hand eye coordination, spatial awareness. Tik tok and Pinterest have super budget friendly idea

Forgot to say that after they are done with the timeout then you talk with him again covering why he was there, why it’s not allowed and then at least in my house there is an apology. It also sounds like you could benefit from stepping out of the room for a sec and taking a breath. Everyone gets overwhelmed and over stimulated and sometimes need to step away.

@Hannah this is a good idea ty

we just moved here so most all our stuff is in storage rn like bowls, kitchen stuff so literally already going insane not having much of our stuff. but this giving me an idea of what to grab from storage this weekend.