Any advice or words of encouragement could help.

Hi gals I am just at the end of my rope with my relationship. My partner is not a very vocal person in our relationship or whatever you wanna call it at this point. Often times I tried to have conversations or create conversation to discuss a few things that we might need to work on on our relationship whether it’s together or individual. And I’m very vocal about talking things out and not going to bed upset with each other not so much myself time and time again because I feel like I’m talking to myself and I feel like I have no one to vent to because I will go to him and talk to him and he’s just not receiving of it. He’ll just sit there in silence. So I just have built-up feelings and built-up emotions all the time. to make things worse he’s also not an affectionate person so I’m also longing for some kind of affection from him in any way shape or form and I just feel forgotten unloved and unappreciated. He just feels like talking doesn’t solve anything and I am trying to let him know that there’s things that we have to talk out when I’m feeling some kind of way about something and I come to you when I talk to you about it. I expect you to listen and give feedback if not at least try into the conversation so it doesn’t feel like I’m talking to myself our sex life is not really there because now it’s just like he doesn’t wanna have sex because he’s not where he wants to be at in life so that’s kind of transferring over into everything in our relationship. I told him last night that I couldn’t take it anymore and I just wanted to be by myself because I just find myself so unhappy and so emotional almost every day and I just have so many bottled up feelings inside I don’t know where to go from here, I’m not getting that many hours at work we’re i can SUPPORT myself and my two kids, and I just feel stuck. I am looking into starting LPN school in the next few weeks to put myself in a better position financially so that I can branch off on my own. I’ve pretty much cut off all my family for him and I definitely feel alone. I’m currently sitting here in tears and the only thing that would help. It’s just a simple hug. I find myself just having these dark thoughts about what it would be like if I was just to wipe myself off the face of the Earth I am in such deep depression. I don’t know where to go from here.

Show your support

I would highly suggest couples therapy if he would do it. Sometimes it really helps to have a third party there asking the right questions. Have you tried writing to each other?? My Husband is terrible about just sitting and staring at me when I try to talk about our relationship because he just doesn't know what to say in the moment. I find that writing it down helps me get it all out and gives him time to think in it and respond. Not saying it's easy cause sometimes I have to wait days for a response. It has helped him a lot though.

@Sarah hi Sarah thank you for replying. I have suggested couples therapy a couple times but he’s not interested. He’s fixated on the idea of someone random telling us what to do. I’ve tried so many other suggestions and he’s not budging so it’s all frustrating

I'm sorry I know that is very frustrating. My ex husband was very much like this and a narcissist. Have you thought about seeing a therapist?? It might be helpful to have someone that you can talk to just to get it all out. Also if he isn't willing to compromise and meet you where you need them it might be time to start making a plan to move on. You deserve to be happy and to find someone who is willing and wants to meet your needs. Work on yourself and getting your LPN. Find something that brings you joy like volunteer work. It will help you to get more perspective on your situation and what you really want. I wish you the best 🩷 You can message me anytime if you need someone to talk to

i’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. how did he respond to u leaving? how serious does he take the threat? have u told him ur stressed to the point of suicidal thoughts? i was going to suggest searching avoidant & anxious attachment styles, or find a suitable criteria that fits the two of you from a reputable site or source, & relay it to him in an “evidential” way rather than him taking it as “nagging” or “opinionated”. my man & i struggled w this & it came down to 2 diff relationship styles. when we argue, our mind thinks we have to defend ourselves, so it triggers fight or flight. u fight for ur feelings, he flees them. it takes so much awareness. for ex, if u say something that wasn’t supposed to be rude but he took it rude, remind him that you’re coming from a place of love & that his brain is doing what he knows best to protect itself. but, it only works if both parties are willing & ready.. if he isn’t, u will only hurt urself in the process ❤️‍🩹 i truly wish u the best! x

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌