Am I overprotective? Please help!

I wouldn’t personally I don’t feel comfortable with my little one sleeping out until he’s able to communicate properly, my partner would let him stay out but I talked to him about my feelings and he understands x

I wouldn’t either

NOPE.

No you’re not being overprotective or overreacting at all. I would feel the same if I was in your situation, especially if it is someone who isn’t respecting your wishes for your child because they think they know best. 20 months is still so young to be away from you for more than a couple of hours xxx

My kids have always stayed overnight with grandparents from being tiny, I'm talking weeks old, but that's because my parents are amazing grandparents! They've had my 3rd baby for a whole weekend twice now, when she was around 5/6 months old and we both trust them 1000%. However, if I didn't feel they were capable or able to fulfil my babys needs then I wouldn't allow it

The people that are most involved in my kids life is my immediate family. Anyone that’s not immediate like my aunts, uncles, my cousins, my daughter‘s other grandmother and aunt and uncle are not around that much and I wouldn’t just let them take her like that either. They’re not around enough.

I let me son sleep over a my parents when he was 6months I know he was you he didnt sleep out again until last night he's 2.5 now there was no issues we told them his routine he went down no problem but everyone is different I was glad of the break even if it was for one night

IF i was open to it I'd want a trial run. How about we all go for a sleepover and then grammy would be the one doing the entertaining. Me and my partner would leave for a nice little dinner date. Grammy would do all diaper changes, the lunch, the dinner, playtime, bedtime. We would come back throughout the he day just to check in. See how she's doing and see how little one is doing.

But i wouldn't be open to it. My little one is 2 and hasn't slept over anyone's home. She will not sleep over anyone's home until she's an adult 🤣

I wouldn’t personally let my son stay overnight anywhere until he was a little older, neither would my partner tbh.

Also I completely agree with you saying that she doesn’t see him enough to understand his behaviour and needs etc I have had a similar experience with this, when I went back to work someone offered to have my son a couple days a week and I said no because they had only seen him a handful of times since he had been born. They recently said the same thing again, but I again said no, because they still don’t see him enough to know him…

We let our son stay over at grandparents house when he was around 1 years old, it was the hardest thing ever, especially considering he has a milk allergy i just couldn't turn anyone not to give him dairy, but unfortunately I had to do it as i was preparing to welcome our 2nd child , and i need to be comfortable with him staying there before i went into labour or the stress of that on top of labour would've sent me through the roof.

He now goes there every few weeks to stay, but i do feel comfortable with him going there and staying, they listen to what i tell them, they cater for his needs and he has always so much fun there. In your situation i'd also feel the same, i wouldn't like that 'she knows best' and doesn't listen to you, the fact she doesn't see him very often he could get separation anxiety from you and being in a unfamiliar place for long period especially at night and might not feel comfortable.

I wouldn't let my son stay over either x

that’s exactly what I think! He doesn’t speak much yet. She asked me today if he drinks milk at night but it’s not a yes or no question. Usually he drinks just water but sometimes he wants milk. I know the difference but honestly I can’t explain it 😂

that’s a good idea! However, I’m afraid she won’t understand that I want to check on him. Whenever I suggest her something, she always says she raised two children and doesn’t need my advices. Yeah, that’s true but times are changing!

He completely refuses a bottle and formula milk so I was exclusively breastfeeding and felt good with it. However, she stated that every baby drinks from the bottle and she forced him to drink formula. Of course, he just spat it out every single time like I told her he would but SHE HAS TO try. It’s just one of the many things. Of course, nothing bad happened to him but my child is not her guinea pig. I just can’t trust her 🫣

that’s the thing! I’m pregnant with our second but I can’t imagine him to spend the night with anyone else except his daddy. I’ve just mentioned the situation with formula milk in comments so I totally understand the allergy thing, which is much worse!

I would really use some help when the baby comes, but she never suggested it. What’s more, she boasted she booked a holiday just after my due date so I don’t even want to ask her if she could stay with our son during the labour. We don’t have any other family nearby however some of my friends care for him way more than she does.

thanks! I’m a little bit confused as she complained at the beginning (to other people) she sees him so rarely but never really asked us to bring him to her. I mentioned it a few times and she said we can ask her to stay with him if we need it. But that’s the thing - if WE need it. She acted as if it didn’t matter to her whether she saw him or not.

And now, after almost two years she offer she offers to take him for the whole weekend and I’m about to say no. I don’t want to act like a hypocrite, because I’m more than happy for them to spend the whole day. It’s just about the night, as for me he is only 20 months and it’s just too early for that.

Thank you all for advices! It means a lot to me! xx

My little girl has always slept round my mums since 8 weeks old, never had a problem and I enjoy the break tbh x

No, trust your gut instinct. You wouldn’t have a nice time either because you’d be worried.

If you're not comfortable don't do it. I have left my little one with my MIL but I trust her and she is amazing with my little one. I don't think I would leave him with anyone else

Maybe now is the time to start on trying to build a better bond between them. It would be a shame for your partner to miss out on the birth of you child because you are unable to trust anyone else to help out with your toddler. Again you need to feel comfortable so it might just be something you have to work up to to help you and him feel better about it.

I haven’t spent a night apart from my little girl yet. We have a night away booked in a few weeks and my MIL and FIL are staying over at ours to look after her. They do see her regularly though and have put her to bed a few times before following our routine if we’ve gone out for a meal x

My little girl hasn't spent the night away from us yet and I have no plans or desires for her to for a while. When we do decide to it will be with my mum because that's the person outside of us that she has the best relationship with and I would probably have my mum come stay the night with her at our house so all of her usual comforts are still around her

Think i’m on my own here but my little one sleeps at his nans (MIL) quite often. They have a great bond and she lives 10 minutes away, plus i work evenings. He sleeps great so theres no concerns and i love the lie in😂

My daughter is almost 20 months and stays with my parents when we need her to (she’s there tonight, we are on a spa break 🙌🏻) but she also spends two days a week there every week when I’m working so she’s 100% comfortable and they know what to do with her 100%. Their house is like her second home and it’s a huge relief.
However she’s never stayed with my FIL overnight and likely won’t for a long time, she sees him every week but I just don’t think he’s capable of doing that and she’s too precious to be left anywhere I’m not comfortable with. So you do you, whatever you’re happy with.

how can I try to build a better bond between them if she doesn’t care about him at all? If we don’t call her, she will never call first. She never proposed to take care of him before. Should I force her to be interested about her grandson? I don’t think so. Did I mention that I am unable to trust anyone else? No. He stays with other people quite often, just not overnight yet but there are plenty of people who I’m trusting more than her just because he spends way more time with them.

that’s the thing! They show some interest about your daughter and help you on the regular basis. She stayed with him a couple weeks back and he started to looking for us after a few hours. No one from my friend never told me he was calling for mommy or daddy, even if he stayed the whole day with them. Hope you’ll have a great night alone! x

thanks for this! I proposed her to stay in our house overnight (especially since she used to live here before) but she said no. He still comes to our bed in the morning or in the middle of the night if something is wrong so I’m afraid he can start to panic when he couldn’t find us nor his well-known bed