TALK TO MEEE ☺️

Nope! If I invite a child I don't expect siblings to come unless I've been asked if it's ok. If you pay for the other child and provide food then that's up to you.

Definitely ask! When we host our child’s party we are paying for every friend she invites, not their siblings! That is completely unfair for me to pay for 10 of her friends and then each of those 10 friends has at LEAST 5 siblings each! Now our 10 kid party has turned into a 50 kid party! Totally rude and unacceptable to expect we can afford that!

Curious as to why siblings that do not know the birthday person would go? A birthday party is celebrating one kid with their friends. If they are not friends with the siblings, I would find it very weird for them to come My siblings went to birthday parties all the time that I didn’t go to. They were their friends, not mine.

Always ask, you may be okay with siblings and the rest of the family coming but that doesn’t mean the other person who sent invitations will be okay with this plus it doesn’t hurt to ask just to double check

I always ask. I had 2 girls growing up 18m apart and if one was invited I’d ask for the other one to come and if it was a PPH paid per head event I’d state that I’d pay for the extra girl to come and I’d pay at the door. My friends always bring their kids siblings to mine coz most of them have 2 but they ask, coz if they’re not on the invite they’re not paid for and not included in the total numbers which would usually include a kids meal for each kid. If it’s a house or park party then I’d state on the invite, both kids are invited for that family.

No way. If I invited a child over that does not mean the whole family/other children. What if they can’t cater to more? If the invite is to “x” then only “x” is invited. Families struggle to provide parties for their kids financially so someone who thinks it’s ok to rock up as extras and with more kids is straight up rude and inconsiderate. Even asking is rude because what’s the person supposed to say? Some people can’t say no when they really mean it/need to. If you really have no choice but to take other children with you then definitely ask and offer to pay for the extra or BYO food etc.

The only time I wouldn’t necessarily ask is if I’m bringing an infant who’d be in a carrier and not actually participating in any way. Typically I would not ask to bring another older child unless I had no other options and then I’d make that really clear when I was asking and also be very clear that I would pay for absolutely everything for my extra kid and all that. I think sometimes even asking can put the other person in an awkward situation and I’d try to avoid that if at all possible.

@Nicole okay, you made a good point! I understand about inviting the friends and paying for them, not their siblings which I also understand. I think because of my thinking, it’d be nice to have their sibling there too and we would 100% pay for extra child to come if they can be there too with their sibling. Does that make sense? 😅 I do understand if you have a more than 1-2 siblings, it’d be difficult.. I didn’t think about that 😭

@s a r a 🥀 I have one child and every single one of her friends has at least 5 siblings each! I always tell them they can bring them but I cannot and will not pay for 50 extra kids that my child doesn’t even know lol I am also not paying for multiple cakes or food to feed that many other people. I also can’t have 50 kids in our pool! I just figure most people will ask first

I always expect that siblings are invited. That's what all the parties we've been to are like. But we've never done one of those expensive parties somewhere where you have to pay for each kid- it's always been at a park or someone's house. I think it would be best to ask and let the host know you'll pay for siblings to be included.

My baseline is to assume my child who was not invited, is not invited. However, it is circumstantial. If it is an invite of a close friend then both siblings are typically included. I have had circumstances where the parent inviting explicitly invite both of my kids. I’d only even consider bringing both kids if I didn’t have childcare. I have also had invites where I didn’t even feel comfortable asking if my other babe can (even if I offered to pay) because I sensed the vibes. So I just rsvp ‘no’. Sometimes the venue caps the amount of kids and i don’t want to even ask lol When I do parties I typically invite siblings but I know not everyone is that way and it’s ok

@Nicole Oh my, they got some big family. haha. Yes, that’s also very true - not knowing them. Maybe because I’m a little new to all this. My son is now at the age of him starting/being in school . Recently, started getting birthday invitations from his classmates/school. He’s 5, we don’t feel comfortable of him attending birthday parties at that age alone which I also don’t think any parent would either..

Always ask. The party is for the child and his friends. Parents usually plan for the amount of kids that say will attend. Some places have a limit of kids and etc.

I would ask. Most of the time, the host would say yes. It's not fair to just surprise the host with extra kids, especially for catering purposes, and/or party bags, prize allocation etc. It costs nothing to ask first.

@Haley Good question, I don’t know.. 🤔Growing up, I never gone to classmates/friends birthday parties or know if my siblings ever gone to one either..

@Catherine This is exactly my thinking and same experience. We’ve never done any expensive parties either and would 100% pay for the siblings to be included! I don’t mind buying more foods and drinks for the host either.

@s a r a 🥀 it would just seem weird to me because the siblings coming is not benefiting the birthday kid. Like it’s not for the kid and no what they wanted. It’s for the siblings. And it’s important for kids to learn that not everything is for them.

You all have a good point. Thank you! To be honest with you all, this mama got called “entitlement” for saying my opinion in a moms support group which I probably deserve to be called that. But hey, I’m learning! I have a 5 year old and 2 month old boys. I truly don’t/never expect for the host to pay extra, we will. I’m also the kind of person who will offer to bring foods, drinks, anything because of my kindness. Since my 5 year old is making friends and will most likely like to invite everyone, I will have to be prepared for his future birthdays!

Always ask. I would never assume my other children would be able to attend a party they were not explicitly invited to.....can you imagine how many people that would be if everyone assumes that? Yikes.

I'm not sure I'd do either honestly due to the fact that when my eldest daughter has been invited to parties, it's generally a child from school that only invited my daughter and got chaperoned and there all into the same things and her siblings didn't get invited to the parties.

No. It was for your child and your child only. No siblings

i think a kids birthday party is completely different than a wedding invite. I definitely wouldn't assume you can bring your other kids and politely ask them 🙏🏼

Always ask sometimes it’s not even about paying for your other children but also think if things like amount of food, party favors etc. imagined if everyone e assumed a brought 4 plus extra people. That would overwhelm the host

If one child is invited it definitely doesn’t mean the whole family is I’m sorry. Unless it’s on the invitation bring your family… Typically parties account for the people that RSVP and when you bring more without consulting it throws things off. Many catered events and parties at businesses do not allow for extras as the parent has already prepaid. Also it’s rude to assume you can jsut bring extras to a planned party.

Always ask. I have twins and we've recently come to uncharted territory of only one being invited to something. It sucks but yep only one of y'all can go.

If it's at a park where anyone can go regardless of the party, you don't have to ask. Otherwise ask

It depends where the venue is. If it’s soft play and it’s open to the public then I might pay for my kids entry but not let them have party food. Otherwise I would ask or try have someone watch the siblings. There may not be room for siblings to attend anyway.

Always ask and make other arrangements if they can't accommodate your other little one. They need to know numbers for safety, catering and things like party bags.

Personally I wouldn’t but it’s nice too if I as a mom am bringing my son to a birthday party I’m more than likely not going to leave my girls home when they’re all very young now if my son is older ie tween / teen and his friends are specific to him alone then I likely would but at this age they all go everywhere together for the most part - they’re tots & we’re a family you invite one we’re all coming for one it’s not like he can take himself anywhere lol🫠 if something additional needs to be paid for we gladly will pay it & will bring gifts as well -no problem otherwise we just won’t come. In my personal experience it’s never an issue for additional kids to attend a party for this age group . This more so occurs with weddings where people are more specific, strict about who attends because plates etc per person are expensive and or they want a certain kind of experience

@s a r a 🥀 you keep saying you don’t feel comfortable your 5 year old at parties on their own but a lot of the time here in the UK, a parent will stay at the party with their child unless the child was old enough, is that not a thing in the US?

Always ask - it's rude to turn up with extra kids they weren't expecting even if you don't expect them to be paid for (apart from babies under 1). I've thrown kids parties for the last 3 years and people always ask if siblings can come and then I factor them into the max numbers for the venue and usually make sure there are enough party bags too

Never assume. A child’s birthday party can have a huge number of children already invited, if each had a sibling that they turned up with you’ve doubled the numbers which could cause problems as well as breach health & safety and fire risks at the venue. An adult event including family is different but a child’s party should be invitees only unless stated or approved.

I'm imagining there's a lot of variety here in what a party looks like and where they're held. The sort of parties we've hosted over the past few years (my eldest is 5 in May) have been hiring out a small hall, getting a bouncy castle and doing lunch for all the littles plus nibbles for the adults. We have party bags for each child we know is coming and the venue has restrictions on the number of people for safety reasons. At these sort of parties sometimes the ask is that only one child per adult comes so they don't exceed the maximum and so that all the children in the class can be invited. No one leaves their kids. So for these parties it's important to know who's coming for everyone's sake.

I think unless the invitation clearly states it's for child plus siblings, the assumption would be it's only for that child. My son recently got invited to his first party from preschool (previously he'd only been to parties of friends). I asked if I could bring his sister, even though she was only 5 months old, wouldn't be eating or participating. It's only polite. I also think until they are older, it's not common to leave your kids at a party alone.

The invite is just for the stated person. If quite young still it’s ok for a parent to stay to supervise but they shouldn’t expect food. It’s not even about the money, if my child invites 10 friends that’s who they want to celebrate with not 10 friends and 12 older/younger siblings. With family friends 1 would say that’s an exception but as such I would word the invite to invite them all.

@Sinead It’s a thing here. I don’t think I’ve met anyone who has dropped their child off at a party at that age. Personally, I wouldn’t. It’s why I was wondering what’s everyone’s thoughts and opinion are and bringing siblings (as I have two kids now). The last time I let my son went somewhere without his parents (husband and I), he got a bruised eye/eyebrow that was a size of a golf. My husband and I were devastated 💔 My husband cried 😭

@Sharaya oh no! As a twin I never experienced that.. I think that is so cruel of the parents who invited one twin and not the other! Maybe could understand if one twin boy and another girl but I had a twin sister! That makes me feel sad, I know I’d be upset if that had happened to me😢 we always had the same friends! (I agree to ask beforehand because of cost ect the same as others have said btw)

@Becky I don't think there's any reason to be sad! Some of the twins I know really hated always being seen as a unit and not feeling like an independent person throughout their childhood. Having their own friends and attending parties without their sibling isn't a bad thing!

@Caroline I am a twin myself and from you saying ‘some of the twins you know’ means you arent a twin I am assuming?? So how do you know how it feels to be the twin not invited? It has happened to me and it hurt my feelings. It depends on situation though. If I thought I was ok with the person who didn’t invite me but invited my sister that was hurtful. But one birthday party I wasnt invited to at around 12-13 and I was fine with it because I didnt know the girl at all and thats different! It is situational but it can be tough… from MY personal experience. Its complicated feelings you go through as a twin with same sex being compared/who is more liked in secondary school! Teenager things!!

@Becky I was offering an alternative view based on the several sets of twins I know. I wasn't trying to undermine your lived experience. Your feelings are entirely your own 🤷‍♀️ I'm sorry you had those experiences which made you sad and thanks for sharing your personal experience.

@Caroline thank you for your really mature and kind response to me especially as I have come across as rude x

Also if the party is to drop my very young kids off anywhere who are not at least tweens without my being there I’m not doing that & definitely not alone ..I assumed that I would be In attendance and I honestly don’t know under what type of scenario I’d be okay to drop my kids off without my being present …that alters a lot. It may not be an event for our family after all I parents aren’t able to attend / be present

I would ask. I wanted to say assume but then I started pondering on it. Growing up my brother and sister NEVER came to class birthday parties I was invited to. Could that be because we have a big age difference though/our friends weren't the same? They would totally come to a family friend's party though because they'd be friends with the older siblings. If the siblings aren't friends though, what would they do there though? They'd probably be bored. The names on the invite are the ones invited... Unless it says ....& Family