Gentle sleep training/sleep help tips please please

Ferber mixed with pick up put down x

@Elena Will look at both thank you so much x

Some little ones really don’t like a cot! If he sleeps next to you could you try a floor bed instead in his room instead? Once he’s used to it you can then work on gentle ways of stopping co-sleeping x

How does he fall asleep? Rocking, patting, shushing, feeding? What's the routine in the day with naps? If the timings are off that could be part of the reason for frequent wakings.

@Gemma that’s possible yeah but he has slept well in his cot occasionally. I was considering this if all else fails to try and get him to fall asleep in his cot independently. The only issue I have at all with that is the fact that I have to go to bed exactly when he does and get no time to myself at all. Have you done this? X

@Natalie he is fed just before bed and occasionally falls asleep having the bottle or more often just after when I put in his dummy and pat and rock him slightly and stroke his face. He seems to need so much help falling asleep. His day time naps are pretty scheduled but he only contact naps or napped in the car before we changed car seat. Now he won’t even nap in the car 😩 There’s been a few occasions he’s napped until 5pm but I’m planning to try and cap it at half 4 latest x

I found that moving the feed earlier in the bedtime routine and patting/stroking in the cot so my daughter fell asleep where she'd stay helped us (at the same age). What is the schedule of naps? When does he wake up/when is bedtime?

Nailing the day schedule really helps at night. Have wake windows of 3-4 hours and capping naps to 1-1.5 hours.

@Natalie currently trying this and all he is doing is sitting up in his cot, trying to pull himself up and laughing at me 🙈 he was almost asleep having his bottle but as soon as I put him in cot he thinks it’s play time. So currently he wakes between 7:30am and 8:30am ish depending on how long he’s been awake during the night Nap 1 is usually around 10:30 or 11am for around an hour Nap 2 usually 3/3:30 pm and that’s the one I’m capping so it doesn’t go over around 4:30pm There is always at least 3 hour wake windows before naps and bed

@Sarah thank you I’m doing that definitely but night time is still a nightmare x

I'd try to lay him back down when he's doing that so he realises it's not play time. You want the earliest wake window as the shortest and the longest before bed otherwise there isn't enough sleep pressure. I'd try a tweak with the first one being 2.5 hours, between naps being 3 and then the one before bed as 3.5 to see if it helps. Waking at 20 or 45 says to me that he's not connecting sleep cycles and it's probably cos the timing isn't right

@Natalie thank you so much for your advice. Please can you explain what you mean about waking at 20 or 45? Do you mean every 20-45 mins waking up?

Waking at 20-45 mins is what's known as a false start for infant sleep.

@Natalie so this can happen but he can sometimes sleep an hour or two before the waking every 20-45 mins start so I do think the bed time is right because he goes to sleep just can’t stay asleep more than a few hours

Falling asleep easily but struggling to stay asleep after a while is overtired cos they fall asleep easily cos they are shattered then once the sleep pressure drops they can't really stay asleep.

@Natalie ok thank you, what should I do about this then 🙈

As I've mentioned further up try tweaking the wake windows and see how that works.

@Natalie thank you so much will do x

I would say your little one most likely needs longer wake windows. When my son was 10 months his schedule was: Wake: 7am Nap: 10:00am - 11:15am Nap: 2:45pm - 4:00pm Bedtime: 7:45pm So there was a 3 hour gap between waking and first nap, 3 hours 30 mins between first nap and second nap and then 3 hours 45 mins between last nap and bedtime. Once you get the daytime down, the night time will follow and hopefully get them into a pattern.

The most common reason for false starts is under tiredness- not enough sleep pressure to keep them going so I’d try extending the last wake window :)

@Danielle thank you so much for sharing! Going to try and tweak and see if it helps tonight x

@Gemma thank you! Going to try wait a bit longer after second nap before bed tonight x

Good luck lovely x

@Danielle thank you, really need it! Last night was horrific again! X

It’s so hard when they don’t sleep well 😔 I sleep trained my little one when has 3 months and have never looked back although I know you aren’t too keen on the method I used maybe look at other methods out there, maybe also look at speaking with a sleep coach to see if they can give you any advice x

Fingers crossed for you!! X