Guilt loading

Lol mums I swear, my mum is super supportive but once I started work full time my mum would fret that my daughter would be sooo tired and sooo upset. I knew she would be fine, as she was already fine! She very much made me feel guilty however that’s all it was. No bad intentions or directly telling me I was a bad mum. She just was worried and it made me feel guilty but she had no intention of hurting me in any way. Guilt is our Achilles heel, consider letting her know how she affected you. Fingers crossed, all the best x

I put my son in daycare when he was 3 months old so that I could go back to work and be financially stable regardless what my mum said

I chose wouldn't have told her because I can't count on my mother to be supportive about anything that's about me, so I never tell he things like that. For example I'm a sahm mum and we're thinking about keeping it this way and not putting her in daycare or kindergarten. I'm completely avoiding the subject with my parents (I talk to my dad more than I do my mother but she's always around when I have my dad on the phone) because I know they wouldn't understand nor support it and they wouldn't try to understand, it's their way or the highway. Even though they really fucked us up, they'd never admit that or that I could want to do things differently. Hence why I live on the other side of the world ! Haha When I see how my mum is and all of the posts about other mums from that generation, I really wonder if they have total amnesia of what it was like having a baby !

At the end of the day you need to do what you need to do for your family. When I discussed daycare with my mum she was similar, but she also wasn’t willing/able to look after my child as an alternative to daycare and we weren’t in a position where I could take more leave from work financially. It’s not fair for anyone to tell you how to make decisions when they can’t offer an alternative and aren’t in the same position as you

I'm sorry, that's not what a mother should do. You should be supported by your mother and if she has some reservations she should fact check them before misleading pushing them onto you. It's not OK what she's doing. My experience of childcare is a positive one. I have 3 children that have gone/are going to childcare, youngest is 16-months. Unlike your mother, I see tremendous benefits of a child attending childcare. It's by no means some kind of last resort where you send your child if all other options fail. My kids would go to childcare even when I was on maternity leave with my baby at the time or when I decided to return to work but didn't have to. I knew how beneficial it would be for them and they love it. Please apply a filter to what your mother's views are and look at this as a positive decision that will benefit the entire family.

Thanks everyone for your comments . I found them all helpful.