Completely get where you are coming from my step kids are now 19 and 23 and 23 hasn't stayed over in over yr n half and 19 yr old has only stayed once this year so far so we decided our almost 4yr old lb will go into he's room which is a dbl room so he will have more space for all of he's toys and ss will go back into the box room as when he does stay he moves from the bed to the desk to play computer that is all so doesn't warrant a large dbl and have also given him the heads up as we are expecting our 2nd baby together that once she is a yr old she will get the box room (we do thankfully have a large garage that can fit 3 cars which we are looking at converting into a games/gym/guest bedroom that they can stay in should they wish to stay over) my argument for it all was they're adults and our 2 will be living with us 24/7 so require the space and there is nothing stopping them coming over whenever they want as they only live 10minutes up the road from us too
This was me. Me and my OH have a 16m old (boy) and a 3m old (girl). He has a 14 & 16 year old (2 boys) from a previous relationship. I want my daughter to have her own space and I find it unfair for the 3 lads to share a room. So it was agreed our two would share and then his two would have their own room. However as my little girl gets older, moving her to the room with my boy panics me as he's not a great sleeper and I think they'd just affect each other. I suggested to my OH about getting an airbed for his boys to sleep on when they stay over and means our girl can have her own room. His boys very rarely stay over at ours now so I don't see the problem in them sleeping on an air bed for one night when they do decide to stay. Our plan will be to extend eventually so we can have a 4th bedroom so his boys will have a room to sleep in but now it's not an option. My OH finally agreed with doing that. Think its only fair our 2 get their own room when they're the ones who live here
It’s so difficult because they should have the same lifestyle at both homes while they are ‘children’. Legally this is 18 but I didn’t leave home until I finished studying at 21. but as they get older they become ‘visitors’ as they lead their own lives at their primary residence. And there’s the challenge of making sure they don’t feel they’re any less a part of the family - just they’re older and lead a different lifestyle.
@Laura sounds logical - they really don’t need the space for toys as they get older. Glad you’ve got the space to convert your garage!
It's taken ages to get to this stage though I won't lie as ss was like you promised me a large room etc but as he's barely stayed over this year and last year we can count on 1 hand how many times so I ended up using it as a laundry room lol
@Rebecca wow how did you get your other half to agree? I did think about asking that the girls share an airbed but I was worried it may feel like were alienating them I guess it’s different when it’s a boy and girl sharing rather than two boys x
I'd agree age 18!