Why are a lot of people so eager to make their very small babies sleep on their own?

I can understand your point but can you understand that I am trying to figure this out while remembering I am my own person too. And that it's hard when I need to go to the loo for 2 seconds and all I can hear is my baby screaming because he doesn't like being put down and I'm trying to get back to him as quickly as I can but I also need to be able to do very basic things. And dealing with the guilt of that at the same time. I'm not like desperate to be away from him and I love it when I get to have snuggles with him but occasionally I need just two minutes to myself to help myself push through the more difficult moments. So I won't feel guilty for popping him down for two minutes to go to the loo or grab a drink when I've spent 2 hours cuddling and playing

@Holley putting your baby down while you eat or go to the toilet is something you obviously need to do, I do that myself lol. I don’t have my baby strapped to me all day. I’m talking about people thinking babies this young go to sleep on their own without being held or rocked to sleep.

@Holley don't take this personally hun, I think it more aimed at people asking why baby can't go to sleep on there own at night or for naps because they need cuddles or rocking, singing to or a pat on the bum. It's OK that babies don't self settle at this age. it's totally normal. It will get easier for you

@Becky Yes that’s exactly what I mean, it’s unrealistic to hold your baby all day. My son screams when I put him down but I need a drink or food and I also have another child to look after x

@Anneliese not everyone wants to co sleep or feels comfortable doing it I definitely don't and that's ok I tried a couple of times and spent all night panicking I was going to squish him. I also am terrified if hes contact napping and I'm tired that I'm going to fall asleep and drop him. I do get him to sleep then transfer him but most of the time he wakes up instantly but he's pretty good at going back to sleep after a few minutes now especially if his sound machine is on. Everyone's comfort level is different and that's ok it's not just what you would do and that's ok as well

@Holley I think you are missing the point of my post, I never mentioned about co sleeping either. I was trying to uplift people by saying to make the most of this time as they grow so fast and you’ve just gone on about something else lol

@Anneliese maybe I have it's hard to read tone online but it just made me feel guilty and upset for not doing exactly the same thing like because I want him to sleep in his own bed at night I don't want to spend time with him

@Anneliese I'm just trying to explain that everyone is different and not everyone takes things the same way

@Holley you shouldn’t feel guilty or upset that was not my intention of the post and I’m sorry you feel that way. This journey of motherhood is hard especially when we are all sleep deprived, I still feel guilt with my toddler so that will never change unfortunately lol probably still when she is an adult but that’s part of being a mum

I think the biggest issue is all the bloody videos you see on social media of ‘influencers’ putting their newborns down for a nap (bet they stay there 5 mins) and filming as if they stay asleep hours there! Social media isn’t real life but it has such a hold over people!

@Anneliese I think it's also you have hindsight and me and my husband are very much the blind leading the blind at the moment lol I try to spend as much time as I can with my baby but on weekdays I have zero help and the whole don't worry about everything else and just spend all your time with your baby is great until you have no clean knickers or plates to eat off and no one else to sort that stuff out lol

My post had 2 meanings, firstly not to stress if your babies don’t sleep properly because it’s totally normal at this age and they haven’t got the ability to self soothe for a while yet so they will need us to rock pat etc like mentioned above, and secondly while we are doing that to get them to sleep, however frustrating it may be that it’s only a phase and before we know it they are grown up and won’t need that anymore. I’m not sure how it reads otherwise

@Maddie I never put much stock into those videos those peoples houses are always far too clean for me to believe its real lol

@Holley Yeah I was the same with my first baby, tbh I’m still winging it now lol. Some days I realise I haven’t had a drink all day it’s non stop. I’ve got a cleaner coming on Thursday because the most I can get done is washing the pots and hoovering lol

@Anneliese I need to get someone in to do the big jobs my little one is going through a growth spurt so was extra sleepy over the weekend and I took the opportunity during nap times to catch up on everything I was behind on and by last night I was mostly dead

Yes, i would have agreed to this about my first born, we could not put him down for months and even at 3 years old he doesn’t fall asleep by himself and comes to our bed eventually. And we have had to practice accepting that this is his temperament, especially my husband. However, my 2nd child is some mythological unicorn baby that we leave on cot or bassinet and go about our business around him and he falls asleep on his own and he will wake up after 40 min and sometimes sleep again, even if we are nearby. so now that I believe such babys exist and its not just made up online, i can understand why some people may want this, especially if you have little support n are exhausted! There a ways to gently coax a baby to sleeping alone but if their genetics doesn’t allow it, its going to be so hard to wish for this. But if i had another 1, i know now how much easier newborn life can be so it would tricky to accept the more difficult temperment again 😅