Is all exhaustion comparable?

Frankly, I haven’t gotten more than 3hrs of sleep at a time in 6 months. My ears rings my eyes are bloodshot, I’m unusually clumsy, I can’t hold a conversation, and I’ve even hallucinated my children’s voices. (I’m working on it with someone, don’t worry 🫶🏼 It’s getting better!) I’m sorry, childless lady who works a 9-5 and is emotionally/mentally exhausted, but we are not the same 😅 Her exhaustion is *valid* and she deserves rest, but not on my level at 👏🏼 all 👏🏼

I had all the energy In college i took 18 credits all years, was a student athlete, in student government, president of a couple clubs, volunteered, had two jobs, and partied my ass off 🤣 Now I just need my mom to keep the kids for 2 whole days because 24hrs is just not enough

@Asha SAME! 😂 EXACTLY

It's a different kind of exhausted. My final year at uni, i ran myself into the ground. It was so hard. I was more stressed than i had (have!) ever been and so, so tired. But it didn't last forever. Mum tired is different. Its constant. But you get so much out of it. A bit like when a dude says being kicked in the balls hurts more than giving birth, because men would never voluntarily get kicked in the balls, but women long to be pregnant and give birth. There is nothing positive about being kicked in the balls. Its pointless. But becoming a mother makes giving birth worth while. No matter how exhausted i am, my children drive me to keep going. It's a positive tired. You can never walk in someone else's shoes, so you shouldn't compare.

I think it's silly to get mad at people for being tired lol my boy is almost 4mo and it's been rough but I can certainly remember times of my life I was just as tired. 🤷‍♀️

The most tired I have ever been is pregnancy tired

I agree with @Kirsty - it was a different kind of tired. And I have compassion for all my tired past selves.

People used to tell me “wait until you have kids and then you’ll be tired” and it was the worst. Granted, being a parent has caused unspeakable exhaustion but for the phase of life I was in, I was absolutely worn out. It just doesn’t make sense to tell someone their feelings aren’t the same or worse because someone else has it visibly harder. Especially because we never know the backstory. Someone could have underlying health issues that aren’t obvious to everyone and they’re truly suffering.

The most tired or the most pain one can only relate to is only their most tired or the most painful THEY have been through. There is no comparison to one another because we tolerate both pain and tiredness differently. A surgeon doing 4* 14hr night shifts in a row (and then faints from exhaustion) is different to a mum getting 2-3hr blocks of sleep for years without fainting (but feeling exhausted) One has exhausted their battery to 5% but the other keeps it on 40% for years. We all need a whole days sleep though, that’s agreeable 😂

Ughhh I hate the comparisons. If you don't have kids, your tiredness is tired to you.. it's all subjective. I remember saying I was tired to coworkers with kids and them just saying "oh you don't even know what tired is" like ok, now I understand that parent tired is sooooo tiring... BUT I still remember how dismissed I felt when someone downplayed my tiredness for me. You also just don't know what's going on in people's lives.. idk.

it is not comparable. in college i was able to run on little to no sleep & i was treating my body like absolute shit (not intentionally but looking back i’m like mia what the heck) yet i was still able to go to class, get my work done, do extracurriculars, & maintain a social life. i got tired sometimes but it was nowhere near the intensity of exhaustion i experienced while pregnant & after

Its different. I was working two full time jobs so at least 4 days a week I was out of the house from 6am to midnight working on my feet the whole time and I was very tired. But newborn with low sleep needs velcro baby was a whole other level. I wouldn't punch my past self in the face though. I worked hard to get to where I am today and I was definately tired.

Oppression Olympics (or in this case tired Olympics) isn’t helpful for anyone. If people are tired, let them complain and let them feel tired. No need to compare or dismiss anyone else’s experience to their face or behind their back 🤷🏼‍♀️

I agree with above statements that the tired is different and both are valid! If you’re saying “it’s different” than I think that categorizes as not comparable!

idk I’m a person who’s lived with chronic fatigue syndrome, insomnia & idiopathic hypersomina, before even taking on parenthood, “tired” & or “exhausted” are just so subjective & relative. Playing the “I’m more tired” Olympics is super silly.

To me, tired is tired and it's not a competition to prove who is the most tired. I had a friend in college that whenever I said I was tired, she'd have to one up me and say something like how she only got X amount of sleep, so I had no reason to be tired. That was the point where I knew I'd never tell someone they weren't as tired as me even if they had "better" situation because that was so annoying 🙄

I have always been exhausted/fatigued. This is just harder because now I can’t sleep in or take naps whenever I want to

Tired is tired but premom it was just myself and/or adult partner aka they could care for themselves. I could focus on my own needs when I needed to, take a break that was actually a break when I needed to, work uninterrupted when I needed to. As a mom, all that went out the window. Im doing everything I was times ten, with the constant threat of other people’s survival, happiness, and character riding on me, while my own needs are neglected even at the best of times. I can’t sleep when I need to or it’s interrupted nor can I eat or even pee in peace. Both are valid but in comparison, it’s like running a marathon can be difficult, now add weights, dehydration, extremely tight clothing, multiple obstacles, and a sprained ankle to it. You congratulate both runners, they both worked hard and accomplished it! But one had more to contend with than the other.

i mean i have been so exhausted and tired since having my little one, BUUUUT i voted tired is tired. it’s like when people start comparing their problems to your problems, “well mine are worse” it doesn’t matter, it feels awful to the person going through it and that’s all that matters, they’re not comparable as we all have our own tolerance, mental capability etc to things. Tiredness can be chronic, debilitating, depressive, etc. and it can be so extreme even without having a child. So i see both sides. I can see why a mother would deem themselves more tired than a childless person, but they can’t say for sure if they’re more tired than a childless person just based on the fact the person doesn’t have a child because we all have our own battles, our own issues, our own chronic pain that no one knows or understands (i hope this makes sense) x