Anyone else feel like the people in their life that should mean the most to them don’t care anything about you and your PP journey they only care if they see the baby…?
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Channel everything you don’t like about your family into making sure your baby will never feel this pain! They’re never going to change so put yourself first and focus on what’s really important. Sadly we can’t chose our family but we can chose whether we keep them in our lives, sending love x
@Carly yes exactly, that’s why I wanted to be a mother myself. I honestly am uncomfortable with my daughter being around my sister/her aunt because I don’t want my daughter to think that it’s OK for her to talk to a potential sibling later in life or woman like that when they are in the most vulnerable stage in their life. I’ve been in therapy my whole life. I’ve had a pretty f***** up childhood. i’m in a new mom‘s group, but I don’t fit in due to my home/living situation. I wish I could go no contact with my family, but that’s not really an option. I rely on them for a free childcare since I HAD to go back to my part-time gigs after a month postpartum (now I’m hardly 3 months PP) and to help out with a few bills since I don’t make a lot of money. There’s not much I can do to heal my mental health. I’ve been trying to do that for ongoing 10 years… I just feel stuck and I wish I know I just wish I had people…
@Georgia definitely 100% I don’t EVER want my daughter to feel how I’m feeling right now. I don’t really have but a choice to keep them in my life since I rely on them for free childcare and for a little bit of financial help regarding to bills that I can’t cover with little hours I work each week at two part-time gigs. I would’ve cut them off a long time ago if I didn’t need financial help from them. It’s kind of sad because I feel much closer to my boyfriend‘s mom than I do to my mom and I’ve only known that lady for almost 2 years…
No wonder you feel low when the people who should support you are so mean to you! Know that you'd never be like that with your child and try to build up your network elsewhere - by this I mean think about who inspires you, who you can learn from, which could be celebrities or relatives who have died already as well as finding people for practical and emotional support. If you can, try to do some exercise, even with baby, to release some happy hormones. Do see your doctor and mental health professionals to discuss your mood. You are a fantastic mother, I can tell.
You are absolutely not alone in feeling that way. My MIL is obsessed with children and I feel like she’s trying to take my place as a parent when she’s around and my husband just sees it at “she’s trying to be helpful” it’s absolutely overwhelming and I hate feeling like I’m just the milk lady when other people are around. Being a first time mom is hard and trying to navigate others is really hard!
I totally understand how you feel 🙃
You are not alone! I went to a group today and heard women boasting about how great their support system is and I felt sad. I have a pretty decent size family. But the support is minimum. My mom doesn’t support me either. She doesn’t come around and my baby barely even knows her. She told me to be strong when I expressed my depression. It tore me up at first but then I realized that she is a model of what I don’t want to be as a parent. I don’t want the generational trauma to pass down so I’m constantly finding ways to heal my mental health. I’m in support groups and therapy. As far as support I join apps like this to try to find /build my own community.