routine.

At that age you really can’t. They haven’t established their circadian rhythm yet. It will take awhile for them to figure things out. It’s also normal for them to wake often. Mine still does and she’s 7 weeks. My daughter is “Velcro baby” but she has bad reflux making her extra moody and in pain. Babies don’t “ learn” To not be Velcro. They either learn their needs are being met or they aren’t. They can’t manipulate and they don’t play games. In time they will become more independent. We did attachment parenting with my First and it actually helps them to become more independent cuz they learn you have their back, it just takes time. Your daughter was inside of you for along time, now the comfiest, safest she feels is in your arms. 💯 normal

My son is 6 weeks and we get 3 hours at night, sometimes close to 4. He didn’t seem to like his bassinet so we transitioned him to his crib, he’s done better sleeping there. Are you her only caregiver? Do you have a partner who is helping? My husband and I split shifts so we are each getting sleep. We also both participate in keeping the house clean, clothes washed/put away, and pets taken care of. I ask because it sounds like you could use some “you” time, where you aren’t just being a parent or taking care of the home. There’s a few different things you can do to help get your baby’s circadian rhythm on track but otherwise a real schedule/routine doesn’t come until later. If you have any concerns or need advice I would consult the pediatrician. Your baby is adorable! Hang in there!

@Allyson i have my husband but he’s not really helpful at night. he wakes up in a daze and gets really confused when woken up from sleep so i worry it’s not safe for him to take care of her in the middle of the night. i’m a stay at home mom now and he goes to work so i try to let him get as much sleep as he can so he’s not drained at work. he helps out after work but i can’t seem to relax so i’m cleaning and doing a lot while he’s at work. he will cook, clean and do laundry and let me nap when he gets home if i need it. he just doesn’t really interact with our daughter and i feel like he does that so he can avoid her. he doesn’t neglect her but he definitely doesn’t hold her long like i do. he just puts her down all the time and just lets her cry it out while he plays his games or watches his show. it’s a bit frustrating when i’m trying to shower or get something to eat if she’s not asleep. he’s helpful but also not, if that makes sense? taking a nap sometimes i can’t trust him to do.😔

@Bea i had a feeling that was the case. i tell my mom that or whoever tells me that she needs to learn how to not. she’s so new and she’s also my rainbow baby so i get anxiety about everything and anything. i breastfeed so i feel super connected to her aside from being the one who’s up in the middle of the night taking care of her. thank you for your comment. it makes me feel better and to know i’m not doing anything wrong. i thought i wasn’t doing so good at this whole mom thing and started to feel down about what everyone had to say about how i’m taking care of her.

@Allyson also, thank you!! she’s so precious and perfect 🥰

@Danielle I would say you’re doing all the right things. People will always have their unsolicited advice. Especially moms, but their generation is outdated and Did things much different. Now we know better so we do better

Hey my daughter is the same age right now! She kind of put herself on a schedule. I pick her up whenever she cries and hold her all the time and feed on demand with a bottle of pumped milk or she goes on me. What we do is we get her real milk drunk and hold her until she sleeps. We try to soothe her and make her feel comfy as best as we can, and when we put her down she stays sleeping. Of course she doesn’t sleep as long as she would on one of us, but putting her down whenever we can, AND putting her down in a good mood seems like it’s working. She goes about 3-4 hours in the bassinet, but sometimes doesn’t even last 20 min. My way of thinking is that if you always go to them, they’ll learn that mommy or daddy is always nearby and not be afraid as much. She’s a very content baby, almost never rally cries unless she’s super uncomfortable (huge poop in the diaper, nose suctioning, too much coldness after getting out of bath).

So try to see what her natural schedule looks like and work WITH it instead of making one up completely. Then you can try to adjust it little by little, let’s say by 30 minutes or so you can begin to push it forwards or back since she’s so little. My daughter begins the night in the bassinet and usually ends up staying with us after feeding. It’s not crazy ideal but if I try to force her to stay in the bassinet and get her pissed off, she will just associate the bassinet with being pissed off and lonely.. not wanting to spend any time being put down. I’m noticing as she gets older with this method she is becoming more secure in her attachment to us. She knows we will go to her it seems like so she’s not as afraid when she doesn’t see us immediately

thanks for the advice guys! you have helped me out so much and made me feel better about this mom stuff! she’s already doing better all because of your guys advice, so thank you so much!! 🥰